Thursday, June 3, 2010
It's Chemo Eve!!! What do I get?!?!?!
It's "Chemo Eve" everybody! Hurry up and look under the tree for the presents, er, pills...oh damn.
*sigh* This all got really real didn't it...No more thinking about it, talking about it, wondering about it. It's now time to step through that door and really begin this journey.
I just took my first official chemo drug...Decadron (sp?). It's to prevent fluid retention around my heart and lungs. I start taking it with dinner the night before chemo, then stop with breakfast on Sunday morning. I also start taking Zantac twice daily and a huge amount of B-6 once a day tomorrow evening.
Then there's the Ativan, which is the first nausea med, then after that is the second nausea drug which has a little more "oomph" to it, then if that one doesn't work there's the third one which is super powerful. Don't forget the Cumidan when the port is put in, OH! and *how* can we forget the Neulasta shot Saturday morning which will make me feel as if I've been "hit by a truck" (Yvonne's word's), and will bring on "deep bone pain" (her words again) Saturday evening. Joy.
*shakes hands at you* I know, I know...you're jealous right? *smirk* I knew it. I knew you were *winks*
Seriously though, it did just get really real. This really is happening. I really am going to go through chemotherapy...I really am going to lose my hair...I really am going to have to take a step back from my life for while yet still figure out a way to be a good wife, teacher, friend, and "mother" to buck and lilly...how in goodness name is this all going to work out? Am I going to be able to still keep a modicum of normalcy and sanity all at the same time?
***excuse me*** I just had to have that moment. I know somehow, someway by the grace of all that's good, and with the love and support of Tim, my family and friends, colleagues and students, and of course with my attitude towards the whole thing that I'll fly through and come out on the other side better for it.
I'm still sad I'll lose my hair though. I'm not gonna lie. Ha!