Sunday, October 11, 2015
Last night I had to stand firm otherwise it would have cause resentment between Tim and I. Although I am a smidge resentful that he initiated it and couldn't handle the ensuing heartbreaking melt down. He wanted to be stern and use his boss voice and threaten the crying with time out or "do you want me to put you in your bed and leave you there"...like that's going to do anything but make JP feel like his bed is a punishment zone. Forget that.
So I asked him to leave the room.
He tried to argue with me and I said IN MY TEACHER VOICE, "this is the EXACT situation we had when I cut him off of milk completely except that was truly for his health, and this is just for your convenience. Now I'm the one who thinks you're the ahole parent. Please leave."
I sobbed with JP while he cried and pleaded with me. "Mommy I just want some apple juice, pwease. Pwease mommy." I held him and rubbed his back and whispered "I know you want more baby. I can't give it to you. I am so sorry. I love you so much. We can do this. We can be brave. This is all part of growing up. It will be okay." As he sobbed and sobbed.
He finally fell asleep after 15 minutes or so only to half wake 30 minutes later crying out for apple juice. I laid there frozen with my heart breaking trying to keep my resolve to not get him some, snuggle him up close and tight and apologize over and over. Thankfully he fell asleep after a few tosses and turns.
My poor doodle. Being a mom or dad is hard. So is being three.
Monday, May 25, 2015
I am so very truly blessed with my life. I see that now and immerse myself in the gratitude that comes with it.
I am grateful our water problems were not as worse as others this past weekend/week
I am grateful for a very pleasant weekend with both my boys at home
I am grateful for the ability to buy good food for my family, clean, and prep it to make it even easier to choose to eat
I am grateful for friends joining the cause
I am grateful for only four more days of school
I am grateful I truly survived, moderately successfully, this school year on my own managing 4 different ensembles and 2 general music classes. More greatness planned for next year.
I am grateful for said survival and the ability to look at what I can, should, and need to change
I am grateful for a gorgeous day.
Find your own gratitude on facebook: Living In Gratitude
Sunday, May 10, 2015
A couple of weeks ago, I had the pleasure of speaking with our family naturopath for a "medical intuitive" session. I had absolutely NO idea what this would entail. What she told me and what we talked about has definitely made me think about a lot of things and turn inward more, listening intently to my inner peace.
My sister and I have also spoken, on numerous occasions, about the Laws of Attraction (think positively), and through my 8-to-Great training (choose thoughts that feel good), I have come to really believe in this.
So when this floated through my FB feed,
I decided to make a challenge to myself. One affirmation per week for 10 weeks. Repeated daily whenever needed but always first thing in the morning. It's amazing, 2 affirmations in, to notice how I can affect my mood by simply saying these words to myself.
My goal is simple. To say the affirmation daily for the week and to note how I feel and what, if anything, has changed. So here is my account of Affirmation #1, "Today I am brimming with energy and overflowing with joy".
I began my challenge with this statement because it's the end of the school year and everyone, and I mean EVERYONE at my school is beyond exhausted. It's been a challenging and eye opening and experience FULL year for me. One that I know has truly changed me, my teaching, and my views on what I do. Yet I'm tired. So very tired. I spent so long in high school and elementary that I never had the blessings FULL experience of working with middle schoolers. I've heard folks say it's the most challenging age to teach, and true to form I didn't fully believe it till I experienced it myself.
So in light of the remaining couple days *cough 9 cough*, I focused on this one to help boost my energy and mood. And you know what????
I had more energy last week than I've had in a while. I said the affirmation first thing in the morning, become more and more still with each repetition. I practiced a heart searching yoga practice each morning and arrived at school calm and ready to tackle the day when a few short weeks ago it was with trepidation and exhaustion over what the day would hold. I found myself repeating it through the day when challenging situations or students presented themselves and felt a shift through me that made me feel like it'll be okay and I can tackle anything.
I'm also following the advice given to me in my session to shut off my third eye completely at night by placing something cold on my forehead and listening to a meditation. I started the recommended melatonin and bought some chakra oils I've had my eye on for a while for the 3 chakra's I need to work on. It has been a pleasant experience so far.
This week I am working with "my body is healthy; my mind is brilliant; my soul is tranquil", and in the midst of cleaning up the water in our basement after last night's storms, it has placed a calm on me and made me realize how this situation is only temporary. Many people we know, including my parents, best friend, and other friends have struggled and continue to battle water in their basementa. Their houses still stand. They are still able to enjoy life. It's only temporary.
So I leave you with those thoughts of "what if I said these words to myself? How would my life change?" Take the opportunity...change your life.
Saturday, May 9, 2015
On my birthday, I simply want to say Thank you.
Thank you to life for the lessons I've learned.
Thank you to my friends who have been there through my good times and not so good.
Thank you to the opportunities that present themselves daily to me that give me the chance to shift my mind.
Thank you to my parents who have given and continue to give so much in love and support to not just me but my family as well.
Thank you to my sisters who provide a lens to look through that is colored with their wisdom and experience, and for the love they provide.
Thank you to my teachers past, present, and future who have challenged me, supported me, and helped mold me into this 37 year old version of myself.
Thank you to my bestest friend of 22+ years. Without her friendship I wouldn't be half the woman I am today.
Thank you to breast cancer for touching my life and showing me what's really important.
Thank you to my husband whose love, support, and grumpiness truly make my world whole. Without him I would most definitely not be who I am or have what I do, today.
Thank you to my most precious son, JP. Everyone says it and you never believe it till it happens but he truly is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Thank you for opening up my awareness to life around me and for showing me what true, palpable, unconditional love is.
Thank you to all my students, past, present, and future. The lessons you all teach and have taught me on a daily basis outnumber those I teach and have taught you. Thank you for molding me into the teacher I am today. I look forward to how you will change me moving forward.
Thank you to Aubrey for the medical intuitive session a few weeks ago. I look at my picture and read my notes daily to discover ways to change and release my yoke so the true change may occur.
Thank you to our creator and all divine spirits that reside above for instilling in me a sense of peace and clarity that can only come through knowing you.
And finally, thank you to me. Thank you having the grace to age confidently and the knowledge to change when necessary.