Om Namah Shivaya


Sunday, September 30, 2012

It's Bliss...

Or is it just me.

JP is fabulous, and even his fussy moments don't tense me out (aside from the "DON'T BATHE ME!!" cry, oy, that one's a doozie).  I feel a sense of completion too my life. I feel very satisfied and rooted in everything I do with him, for him. I don't mind getting up at night to be with him. I don't mind 
changing his diapers, even the poopy ones which he seems to be blessing only me with *laugh*. I don't mind the spit-up, and revel in the closeness of the burps. The snuggles and snuffles, the smells and facial expressions, the drool and the pee, or rather the getting peed *on*...*laugh*, I don't mind any of it at all.

It's bliss. < 3

I'm still anxious about things, for sure, and worried about our finances but somehow, and I don't know how, but somehow, we are going to make it through everything and come out on the other side stronger for it. I can feel it deep down inside. 
It's bliss. < 3

I'm sure there are hard, difficult, frustrating & scary times yet too be had, but I wouldn't change a single second of a single moment of a single day. From the moment I saw those two lines, to today when I got the chance too show him off @ the restaurant I bartend at. Too taking him to the grocery store *by myself* for the first time ever in either of our lives and I made it. I didn't drop him, I didn't bump the cart but once, even though I was nervous I was going to do something stupid & anyone who saw was going to shake their heads at me in disappointment.
But I didn't.

I made it.

It's bliss. < 3
Looking into my husband's face and watching him fall a little more in love with JP everyday is amazing.  Realizing that I'm falling for him all over again while at the same time experiencing a new fountain of love spring forth inside myself is something all together.  Having these guys in my corner for the rest of my life...
It's bliss < 3

Finally, I know it's going to be really hard to go back to work in November and leave him in someone else's arms for 9 -12 hours a day depending on the day, but I know he's going to a good place & will learn wonderful things while he's there.

So for now I am going to continue enjoying this wonderful journey of loving and nurturing my son, and discovering myself as a mother because quite truthfully it's the only thing I want to do right now or for the rest of my life.

It's bliss < 3

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