I think about this *all* the time. I wonder if I have what it takes, if I can make the hard decisions that I know will have to be made. If I can wrap this baby in love yet guide them with an iron fist. I wonder if I can raise them in this crazy-a$$ world and still have them grow up knowing how to be compassionate, kind, patient, intelligent, passionate, and an all around productive member of society. I wonder if karma will come back to bite me in the a$$ when they're the age of 13-18, *especially* if it's a girl. I wonder if I'll be able to make it through those years. I wonder if I can be okay with losing myself for a while in hopes of finding me again. I wonder if I'll be resentful about what this is going to do to my figure. I wonder if that's selfish. I wonder how I'm going to screw this kid up, I wonder if they'll notice. I wonder at the ways they will change my life...OUR life...forever. I wonder if we're ready for that.
I wonder if I'll have the strength it's going to take to do this, I wonder if I'll survive.
Oddly enough, I don't wonder about Tim. I know he's going to be a fantastic dad.