I wonder if they know...

 I wonder if they know how hard it is for me right now to walk away and let go.  I wonder if they know how hard I struggle everyday to make the right decisions for them, *and* for me & the life I am carrying inside me.  I wonder if they can appreciate the inner dialogue I have with myself on a daily basis that pertains exactly to what our T-shirt says this year.  "Never Let Good Enough, BE Enough."  I wonder if they know I shed a tear every time they go out for parade block and I'm not right there with them calling out cadences and reminding them to step on their "Left! Left! Left!"  I wonder if they fully comprehend how incredibly frustrating it is for me to not be able to teach them the drill and do the counts like I always do.  To explain to them the *big* picture they are making on the field and how it fits in with the rest of the band.  I wonder if they know how truly irritating it is that we don't have a cool space to rehearse in, inside because it's making me wear out faster than I would like.  I wonder if they know how much I hate feeling weak.

I just hope they know that I am trying very hard to find the balance, to be in the present moment with them, to teach them the best I can, and to last as long as I can before my world shifts forever.  I hope they know how much I care...

Carrollton Band Day, 2011

2011 RHS Golden Eagle Drum Line and first ever PIT!

They did it again; they captured 2nd place at Carrollton in the Indoor Drum Line Competition!  We also captured 1st on the field with the Band, 2nd in the parade with the Band, and the Guard captured 2nd in indoor auxillary, and 1st in field auxillary!

They did me proud again, and it was a  successful day all around for all. :)

Lined up and ready to go!

I'm having an excellent school year so far! Are you?

My 9th school year started about a week after school let out for the summer as we dived right into Drum Line rehearsals to prepare our show for this competition season.  We put in some serious time this summer; 9 hours a week for about six or seven weeks and while I don't want to get too excited or anything because we've had MAJOR obstacles thrown in our way....but...everything seems to be falling into place.  I'm also feeling that way about my school year in general.  Maybe it's because last year I was dealing with the whole cancer bullcheezits, or maybe I'm just hitting a bit of a stride where things are starting to click for me, I don't know.  What I *do* know is that I like it.  


Our show this year, regardless of whether we place or not, is outstanding.  We've pulled off a front ensemble, and are playing three pieces, not just one.  In fact, we had to cut one piece entirely because the show was too long!  *laugh* I'm crazy.  We are pulling two late Tuesday nights in order to get extra time in before the 24th.  It's unfortunate we can't do it after school but there's such a conflict with uneven compromising that we have no other choice.  That's okay though because quite frankly at this point what I'm most stressed about is moving the pit IN and OUT as quickly as possible each time and having one or two full group rehearsals prior to competition.  I think in the grand scheme of things that's a pretty good place to be sitting.  Don't get me wrong; there are *plenty* of things to nit-pick and there will be lots of that going on these next two weeks. 



But before Carrollton we've got some dry runs of being in front of people, not playing our show granted, but parade's and the like.  It's good to get the kids out doing stuff like that before putting them on the field or the basketball court to do their show(s).  Get's their nerves out about performing in public.  We had our first appearance yesterday at KU Band Day.  The kids did great, they really stepped it up a notch or two and gave it their all.  *tear*  I can't wait for next Saturday's KC Royal Parade for them to work those last performance jitters out so then when Carrollton hits they'll be "seasoned pros" on the parade route *laugh*.  It's also a good thing that they'll have two football games for the marching show before Carrollton as well.  That should help boost their confidence come gut-check time. :) 

Mental Note: I need to figure out a public dry run of their indoor Drum Line Show...that's what I really need to do...

So we're off and running.  I told Tim my schedule for this week: Monday home around 7 after Rental Night, Tuesday home around 830 after extra/late Drum Line rehearsal, Wednesday I hope to be the early day (4pm), but we'll see.  Thursday home around 9 after Drum Line and Band rehearsal, Friday home around 10/1030 after first home football game, then Saturday is the KC Royal Parade, ending my week w/work at GC Sunday night.  I wrapped it all up in a smile and said "Love you, see you in October".  *laugh* It's crazy busy but I love it and I love them.  I hope this school year continues to be just as productive, rewarding, frustrating, and enlightening as these first few weeks have been.  

I'm sure these guys will make sure it does.  Golden Eagle Drum Line 2011, KU Band Day

Twas convocation eve when all through the school...

Not a Cougar was stirring, not even a mouse. Ken and his team cleaned the building with care, anticipating that many students soon would be there. The teachers were busy putting together their rooms, while visions of AYP and MAP scores danced through the school. Principal Davis in her pant suit, and the VP's in their ties, had just awoken their brains from a long summer's respite. When out on the front lawn there arose such a clatter, I ran from the band room to see what was the matter.  Away to the front mall I flew like an Eagle, tore open the front doors and saw lots of people! The sun on the gleam of the newly mown grass gave the lustre of heatwaves to objects in brass. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a Marching Band, an Eagle, and a community sincere. With a smart looking Band, so big and so bright, I knew in a moment this fledgling bird would take flight. More rapid than Cougars the Marching Band they came; they whistled, and shouted, and called them by name! "Now Drum Line!  Now Trumpets! Now Piccolos, and Flags! On Baritone! On Clarinets! On Sousaphone's, and Sax! To the top of the hill! To the front of the school!  Now March away! March away! March away all!" The Band they did come like the prideful group they are; with a strut down the street you can see from afar. So down the street, the Drum Line they grooved, with the community full of joy, and the Superintendent too. And then in a twinkling we heard from the school, the cheering of students with something to prove. I came out the door and turned right around, to see down the street a very large crowd. Their eyes-how they twinkled! Their smiles how merry! Their cheeks were like roses, their joy like a cherry! Their big smiles had joy and humor to share, it was hard to believe the school year was here! The games that they played, the food that they ate; the smoke from the BBQ encircled the place. They had bright shining faces and comfortably full bellies, yet everyone eyed the dessert table especially the cakes and the jellies! They were happy and content, a right jolly old group, and I laughed when I saw them, this good-vibing troupe.  A shout from the back and a Drum Line's approach, soon gave way to grooves that were above reproach.  They saluted the crowd, and went straight to their work, "Drummin' for the Cure" their duty they did not shirk.   Gazing out at the crowd, the joy all around; they nodded and felt good because this school year would be profound.  While they jammed the day away; the Band and Drum Line too, the Cheerleader's they cheered, and threw a stunt or two.   The crowd they exclaimed, as the Band marched out of sight; "Happy new school year  to all, and to all a good-night!"

"Mrs. Stout, you're really pretty"; 7 more Monday's until school is out

I don't know about you, but this past week flew by with a speed that almost takes my breath away. MAP testing at the junior high and all elementaries is in full swing and EOC starts at the high school Monday.  Maybe that's what did it.  The silence in the hallways, the respectfulness of the kids, the large block of time to get some much needed work done...it was glorious.  The MAP continues in the elementaries until the 22nd, then the true mad dash to the end of the year shall begin.  

I love this time of year, spring is emerging, it's warming up and the winter doldrums are going away.  I also loathe it because it is so jam-packed full of concert stress, it's "testing season".  All of us are on edge because we know that these scores determine the answer(s) to a lot of issues such as who's going to get to keep their job, will we maintain our accreditation, how much bashing is going to be heaped on-top of us after the results are released, and the like.  It's quite stressful, and I'm not even a core teacher!  I just hope that a majority of the kids took it seriously and tried their hardest instead of getting all mad and defensive then giving up.  

That's what gets me about this whole standardized test thing.  I don't understand how *their* performance determines the security of *my* job.  I mean, out there in the corporate world you're rated on *Your* performance of *your* job correct?  So, if we're evaluated by our administrators and deemed to be competent in our position and possibly even excel at it how can it be that in reality a group of teenagers who have said "Psht *lip smack* I don't care about this test.  It's stupid, it's boring, it doesn't matter", are the ones to determine the fate of the teacher.  So interesting.

We had a chat about it in my 8th grade Orchestra class last Friday then Monday, the day before the testing started, it's where the above comment was said.  I stopped rehearsal and told them the truth, as I saw it, about the MAP.  I told them that not only do their scores have some bearing on their "beyond high school" life, but that their scores translate into money for the district, which there in turn translates into how many teachers get to keep their jobs because if the district doesn't have enough money to pay us all, some of us have to go, and when that happens their class size increases which isn't good for the kids, and the teachers who are left have their work load increase so that they're even *more* over-worked and under-paid which isn't good for anyone.  


They were pretty shocked when I put it in those terms.  I asked if anyone had ever talked to them about the MAP before in that way.  Here's what I got back "No!  I'm just told to do my best because it's important", there's the trick...they're never told *why* exactly.  Now, I am probably over-simplifying it all but that's basically how those state standardized work in my (and other teacher friends of mine) opinion(s).  


Then we talked about the state of the funding for schools and how incredibly scary it is for someone in my position; a "non-core" teacher.  We talked about the fact that each and every one of them have a dollar sign on their rear ends.  "What do you mean Mz Stout?"  I told them about ADA, which for those of you not in the know stands for "Average Daily Attendance", and how every day they are here the school gets money.  So every time they decide to skip, or stay home when they're not sick, the school doesn't get their ADA which as the year progresses, this number grows because there is *always* that percentage of kids who don't care about school so they don't come.  Therefore, that's why we stress attendance so much, because the district needs that money to keep running, and it's also a part of the accreditation process.  

They told me that it wouldn't matter because the school always gets money from the state and government and I had to laugh at that.  I told them how a neighboring district is facing a $40million dollar deficit, and that they had already cut some music programs last year, and there would possibly be more on the chopping block this year.  I asked them what they thought about only having Math, Science, English, and Social Studies in school.  No art, no PE, no band, no orchestra, no shop, no FACS, nothing but the core subjects.  A raucous chorus of protests rang through the air.  

Them: "I wouldn't go to that school, I'd move" 
Me: "Uh-huh, you're 15 how are you going to manage that one on your own, and I highly doubt you could persuade your parents to uproot their lives, pack up the house to try and sell it in this horrible housing market, try to find a decent house to buy but possibly won't qualify for a loan because the economy sucks so instead choose to rent an apartment then they wind up spending *more* money because they're paying rent AND mortgage cause lord knows their house won't sell very fast.  Cramming you and your family into a smaller space with all your stuff, just to satisfy the whim of a young teenager?  Riiiight.  What else ya got?"

Them: "I'd tell them they can't get rid of those programs"
Me: "That's going to be like shouting in the wind.  Now, one person may not be able to make a big enough difference, but if you all were to organize and connect with other students across the nation, *maybe* you could make a difference."


Me: "What else ya got?  Thoughts?  Comments?  Concerns?"  *Silence*  "Do you comprehend now why it's important for you to do the absolute best that you can on the MAP, and not just on the MAP but in school in general?  Do you now understand why it's important you're here, respectful, and ready to learn?"
Them: "I do now".


Good.

Where else out there does your job security depend upon the actions of other people, and more specifically teenagers?  Yes I realize that it's only one piece of the job security puzzle, but it's an intricate piece to the whole works.  Since those conversations in class, and take it all with a grain of salt as those are paraphrased in my brain/from memory, but since those conversations I have noticed a slight upward trend in respectfullness and self-awareness.  Will it last?  Probably not, they're teenagers and I'm sure my parents can attest to the fact that my attention span/memory wasn't that long when I was their age.  

*Shrug* I don't know.  I just try to bring the reality of the situation to the kids.  They all say they want to be taken seriously, so here ya go...here are some serious issues that you *will* be dealing with when you get older unless the world goes off the deep end in 2012.  I try to make them look past their little bubble of lipgloss, teenage hormones, iPod's, texting, sagging pants, horrible language, and skinny jeans so tight I swear the girl's circulation gets cut off to the greater world around them and how they fit into the collective conscious of the greater whole.  Maybe I'll make a diff, and maybe I won't.  Only time will tell.



*****


On a *completely* different note, I just started up another blog called "Just call me Imelda!; What I wore to school today" because apparently my shoes, ensembles, and hair have been creating quite a stir with not only the kids but the teachers/staff as well.  Thursday after school as I was moving bak and forth between the Band and Choir room getting the Drum Line set and ready for rehearsal, I walked past the group of kids who always hang out in the Band room after school, and one of the gals says to me "You're really pretty Mrs. Stout!"...What?!  Me?!  You're crazy girl!  *laugh*   It's honestly quite surreal, because I alternate between feeling like the gangly legged, knobby kneed, crooked teethed, stringy haired awkward teenage girl, to the out of shape, trying to find her way, insecure college girl, all.the.time.  Sure, there are plenty of moments of feeling completely comfortable in my own skin and body, but the "ugly duckling" syndrome will always be a constant undercurrent in my brain.  In the mean time I figured that this blog would not only be a resource for all the girls out there who want my shoes, "OOooo! Mz Stout! I'mma steal yur shoez!" *laugh* but also a nice chronicle for me of the transformation of my hair.  So check it out and be super cool.  

7 More Mondays!!!!!!! 

Scary times to be a teacher these days.

8 and a half years ago I signed on the dotted line, received my wad of keys, walked down to the band room, met my kids, and started this chapter of my life entitled "Teacher".  I was *elated* because I had a JOB and not only that but it was a job teaching MUSIC!  I was a #ProfessionalBandGeek!!  *Finally* after 7 years of school and an anxious summer searching and interviewing for positions, I finally landed one in Hickman Mills (where I reside still to this day)

For all that time, I've had the wonderful task of #ShapingYoungMinds, #SpreadingTheJoyOfMusic, #RockingTheDrumLine, giving them the #"Stout"PerspectiveOnLife, on how to be a #Respectful and #Productive person.  Aside from all of the things I have to do on a daily basis that I never thought I would (another blog post coming soon), I love what I do without question.  Even on the days I'm frustrated beyond belief I still love it and I hope I always do.

With that said, it's a damn scary time to be a teacher.  I can't speak for my colleagues, or teacher friends scattered across the US, but I'm fairly sure that aside from the love of our subjects taught, we entered the education profession because it's a #SECURE career...at least it was.  I'll admit that I don't follow politics and what's going on with the economy closely because it causes me to get *super* anxious and spin off the deep end into the chaos and that's not good for anybody.  There's also my feeling deep inside that something HUGE is going to happen in 2012 that makes this all so very very trivial, but that's another topic for another day.  

What I can't ignore anymore is the state of affairs when it comes to public education and the security of my job, my livelihood, my friends jobs and livelihood, but most importantly what this problem is doing to the future of this world.  It is beyond scary.  We all know that the our public education system has been lagging behind other countries for years.  I quite firmly believe this is due to the numerous rules, regulations, policies, procedures, mandates, and laws our *fabulous* government (note the heavy sarcasm) has been throwing on top of us for years.  NCLB anyone?  AYP?  Teaching for the MAP test?  Dress Code?  ID Badge violations?  No electronics?  ADA?  SMART Goals & Closing the Achievement Gap?


I wish, knowing what I know now, that I could have been a fly on the wall during staff meetings/Professional Development back when I was in high school.  Did the teachers then have as much anxiety over the security of their jobs?  Did they have to talk budget cuts every.single.year?  Did they have to spend as much time "Teaching to the Test" as they did on #DressCodeViolations?  Did my band teachers go home after their Wednesday PD thinking to themselves, "Great.  I'm trying to get ready for district and state competition and on top of all the rehearsals lost to snow day's, I now have to surrender rehearsal time to "Power Verbs", "MAP terms", and working math, science, and comm arts in somehow."  Never mind the fact that math gave me panic attacks, science was like a foreign language to me, and who remembers how to diagram a sentence anyways?  Yet I have to do it because it's mandated by the government that if *WE*, the teachers, don't raise the test scores, we're out of a job.  Add to that the stress over whether said government is going to cut MORE funds from our already limited resources #aremypaychecksgoingtostartbouncing? and it's no wonder that we're all a little on edge lately.

It's just so incredibly sad.  As my awareness spreads out around this crisis I am shocked and dismayed at the ignorance of the government.  You powerful men sitting in your ivory towers atop Capitol Hill have lost all touch with reality.  Seriously.  Would you all stop looking at your fancy suits and shiny shoes for a second and LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE AND CONTINUE TO DO TO THIS NATION.  Cutting funding for vital services such as Education, Police, & Social Services?  #AREYOUNUTS?!?!  I really resent the fact that you are trillions upon trillions in debt because you've given yourselves so many tax cuts, pay raises, and bonuses; borrowed who knows how much from other countries, have sold *our* souls to the oil devil so you could keep your Escalade and Bluetooth Blackberry, and have focused on helping the rest of the world instead of keeping us on track for so long that I don't know if we'll *ever* make it back.  I also *REALLY* resent the fact that I have to pay my taxes on time every year yet the possibility that I'll get a refund? #Small  The possibility that said refund will be sent on time? #ABSOLUTEZERO  I hold onto the thought that on Dec. 21st, 2012 a great chasm will open up under Washington and swallow you all and *poof!* all of our problems will be solved by mother nature...but I digress. 

Let's speak frankly for a second.  I really really REALLY resent the fact that I might lose my job because of your ineptitude at balancing the budget.  I'm a damn good teacher but because you're unable to manage your money #LETaWOMANDOIT!  and have been unable to manage your money for such a long time, I might lose my job because I'm not *essential* to meeting your ridiculous test score requirements.  Let me clue you in on a secret here...music is #VITAL to a child's full, well rounded education.  Watch this if you're confused, he says it best Mike Huckabee: Art and Music essential to education.  I'll vote for this guy just based off of this.  He's a freaking GENIUS!  Why don't all of you on Capitol Hill take a second and think back to your days in school and how music and art played an intricate role in your education.  Bill Clinton playing the saxophone anyone?  Would you be where you are today without that experience?  Music makes you use both sides of your brain and develop greater, deeper, and more permanent connections.  Art makes you think spatially and helps with developing greater math skills, yet you are killing this connection because of your selfish decisions.

Yet on the flip-side, even if I get to keep my job, the opportunities the band gets to perform and travel are decreasing because transportation funds are being cut.  I swear, pretty soon the teachers are going to be expected to pick the kids up and bring them to school because we can't pay for busses!  I'm fixing instruments with masking tape, paper clips, and gorilla glue because we can't afford to pay a repair shop.  I purchase the music for my Drum Line not only to get the tax deduction (but what help *that* will be this year is debatable) but for the simple fact that if I didn't, we'd still be playing cadences and features from four years ago and you can't win awards with that.  



What's that government?  I win awards?  Oh yes I do thank you very much.  It may not be high score on the MAP test, but we're one of the best Drum Lines/Percussion Sections in our area, at least at the three competitions we can afford to go too, and a number of my kids are high achievers in academics, sports, and the arts.  They don't get into trouble for anything other than a minor dress code/ID violation (don't even get me started on how many hours a year I waste on this issue instead of teaching), and are outstanding citizens, anyone?  I'm a damn good teacher and #ShameOnYou for putting us in such a precarious situation.  You wouldn't be where you are today if it wasn't for the teachers who molded and shaped you and helped you grow.  We're trying to do the same thing for this generation but are being forced to give the bare bones to a nation of students who need the full meal deal and then some.
 

 You want higher test scores?  You want the U.S. education system to be a giant contender with the world again?  You want to ensure the success of this nation for years beyond your, or my, life?  Then stop all the #Bull$hit! and the carp you're feeding the public and do what you know is right. #FIXIT.  Don't try; DO.  Stop arguing with one another over who is right or wrong in the political world.  There's no effing time for that anymore.  How can you expect to leave this enormous problem you've created to a generation who is not "proficient" in math?  How can you expect a cure for cancer when there's not enough money to provide the science classes with basic necessities?  How can you expect them to be able to read at a level equal to their grade when there isn't enough money to #BUYBOOKS.  And STOP telling us to get on the technology bandwagon when we don't have the funds to provide that technology for our students, and the technology they could use to access it (cellphones) are not allowed in class?  It's ridiculous and incredibly disheartening.  Are you enjoying your ride to hell in a hand-basket?  Cause that's where you're going and unfortunately we're all along for the ride.


#ComeOn2012.


Cutting the funding to the the point where schools have to cut teachers, therefore increasing class sizes, thereby making the mandate of #DifferentiatedInstruction and one-on-one time with each student increasingly harder to accomplish, resulting in test scores that are less than desirable because this poor teacher is trying to teach 40 kids in a room built for 28 and they're so worn out because they have 7 classes of 40 kids each every.single.day with that much homework to grade each night because God forbid the kids don't get immediate feedback on their progress.  Then on top of that this teacher has to *re-teach* material to the kids who aren't gettin' it for whatever reason, while still trying to keep the rest of the class on track with the curriculum and bench marks because if you don't stay with that then your summer gets sucked away by tutoring kids to pass their bench marks, *and*, if you don't stay on track with the curriculum then they aren't prepared for the next step in their math sequencing but sometimes it's really hard to stay with that curriculum because there's the MAP test scores that are so damn important to whether or not this teacher gets to keep their job that they work their self into a tizzy everyday and the end result is a burned out teacher after 2 or 3 years who is taking Zoloft daily to cope with the anxiety and stress but can't always afford the prescription because we're paid diddly.  Click here for an interesting "note" on what teachers *should* be paid.

Tired yet?  I'm exhausted and I'm not a "Core" teacher!

So come on Washington.  #GetYourActTogether.  Enough with the excuses, the fighting, the bad decisions.  Suck it up and make the hard decisions because in the long run that's what you need to do to turn this around.  In the meantime I'll await the news on whether or not I have my beloved job next school year, or if I have to go back to waiting tables, and I'll continue to run myself ragged each day picking up your slack while incorporating math, science, and comm arts into my rehearsals on top of the behavioral, emotional, social, and environmental lessons I am expected to instill, and the dress code I'm supposed to enforce, as well as the life I am trying to make for myself and my husband.  

Where's my Zoloft...I need a nap.

My friend Ben

Ben and TMS, our wedding 2005

I traveled to Lawrence this evening to have dinner with two of my *most favoritest* (yes I know that is bad grammar and not a word) men ever on the planet.  Ben "Po"Tatar and his dad, "Pa" Tatar.  What a treat to see those two this evening.  I think the last time I saw them was at our wedding almost six years ago. 

 Crazy how time flies.

Partying it up

Ben and I met during college.  We were all within the same major ("I want to be a professional Band Geek"), all in the band together (he in the Trombone section, me on the Drum Line), and partied with the same circle (toga party at the House of Funk anyone?) so naturally we became friends.  I remember many a crisp Saturday morning walking up the hill in full KU Band regalia with Ben, Oliver, Randy, and Greg, up to the fountain to line up in formation for our march down the hill into the stadium on game day.  

Wine at Olive Garden

Theory with Palos, History with Maxey, Band with Foster, Barnes, and TMS.  New renditions of the fight song set to Sitar and Mringdingam (sp?) while on the bus to the hotel for the pep rally.  Wine with BMills at Olive Garden on a Bball band trip, getting to see his childhood home and meet his family.  Taking the leap of faith with him when he let us cut his hair and shave his head (so upped his sex appeal when we did that!), partying with the Chancellor's son at the Chancellor's mansion, winter band formal...good times.   

Winter Band Formal

"Thriller"

Now we're all grown up and adult-like. ;)  Out of our freshman class, I think Ben and I are in the minority in terms of actually becoming music teachers.  I run with the big kids, he hangs with the little.  I teach kids how to march and play at the same time, he teaches kiddos how to match pitch and keep a steady beat.  I teach them how to become productive members of society, he teaches them how to walk in a straight line and keep their hands to themselves.  I can't have a successful program without the foundation that general music teachers put in place, and he can't have a successful program without the lure of the high school marching band with all it's flash and glitz.  How I'd love to watch him in action.  I bet his students just adore him, I know I do.  Always have and always will.

So thank you for making a brief trip to Lawrence this weekend, and thank you even more for making time to have dinner with me.  I wouldn't have missed it for the world.  You and your family hold such a special place in my heart.  Love you all!        

MMEA and my spiritual COACH experience

Oh my it felt good to get home yesterday.  I felt such a sense of relief when I drove down our drive and stepped through our door yesterday afternoon; Buck and Lilly barking joyously at my return as they followed me up to that dear face I love so much smiling sheepishly at me because I could see the relief in *his* face that I was home.  *laugh*  It's good to feel needed again.

I left for Osage Beach right after school on Tuesday afternoon, MMEA bound.  I was super excited to get going because this was my professional conference.  My chance to immerse myself in all things Band *and* Orchestra related for three days; concerts, workshops, schmoozing, partying, you name it.  I will admit that I was also excited to escape the regular routine for a few days and sleep in a bed without dogs laying on my feet for a few nights *giggle*. 

 

I arrived at my hotel (thank you Baymont Inn) and got myself settled in for the evening.  I'm pretty familiar with the area so I toodled on down to the Hy-Vee to rustle up some dinner from their big salad bar and grabbed a bottle of wine labled "Little Black Dress", which I thought was appropriate to kick off my conference since I'd brought a rockin' LBD to wear with my sparkle shoes at the fancy dinner. :)  I hunkered in for the evening, chatted with a friend, watched TV, and fell into a peaceful slumber to assure I was well rested for the day ahead.






Wednesday I sat through the judges training session and it was a good time.  I met the man who composed two of the pieces my 8th grade Orchestra is performing, Kirt Mosier.  Nice guy and writes great music so buy it! *wink wink nudge nudge*  Still not sure whether or not I'll be able to judge, but it was good experience to sit through the training.  

Then came my spiritual experience!  The COACH outlet!  Eek!  You have to understand something.  I *fully* admit that I have a shopping obsession, especially shoes and bags...*BUT*...I have been waiting for this shopping trip an entire year and I knew the bag was going to be 70% off because they give you a 20% off coupon when you walk in the door and there's a HUGE wall of 50% bags.  (That's where I found my pink leather one last year.)  I've been saving my pennies towards my goal of having cash to purchase a new COACH bag.  It'd been an entire year since I'd purchased one and I was looking forward too it.  I got lost with the GPS (again new highways not programmed in) so I relied on my instincts and memory of the area to guide me to the lovely bags awaiting my touch, my caress, the chance to join my collection.

I opened the door and that sweet smell of COACH leather and fabric wafted over me and enveloped me in it's embrace.  The sales lady came gliding towards me with a beautiful smile as she placed the 20% off coupon in my hand and waved her hand over the wonders placed before me as joy sang from my soul.  This year there was not only the large wall of 50% off clearance, but tables of discounted bags, wallets, scarfs, and keychains.  Oh sweet spirits where to begin!  I started with the clearance and saw the sparkle bag in person.  Aside from the disco ball hanging from the strap, it wasn't as wonderful as I had imagined.  So I kept going.  Green leather, brown fabric, pink C's, multi stripes, navy sparkle with a black leather edge and then I saw it.  Peeking behind a lavender leather bag that reminded me of my grandmother (that's not necessarily a bad thing, it just wasn't my style) was a dark plum beauty.  I reached in and pulled it out to the light revealing a dark plum patent leather bag with the classic COACH "C" stitched into it.  Opening it up revealed beautiful lavender lining with a large silver coin-purse in the middle.  Oh I was in love, but we must not be to hasty.  I put it on my shoulder and checked out my reflection in the mirror.  Pretty nice, but there is more to be seen. 

I kept the plum bag on my shoulder and walked my way around the store.  Weaving my way between women who were similarly entranced I stumbled upon a white version of the plum bag with an emerald green lining...hmm...no this will get dirty too fast, keep moving.  I check out the wallets but I already have one and it's a pain to transfer wallets often, so I look over the sunglasses.  $130 for a pair of sunglasses that surely will break during marching season if my dogs don't get them first?!  No thanks.  I wander back towards the clearance to give it another once over before I commit to the plum bag when I see a gold and tan beauty that somehow escaped my attention the first time around.  I pick it up and realize that I have that same style bag in denim "C" fabric and brown leather; it's one of my favorites.  I slide it on my shoulder and it feels like slipping on an old friend.  I look in the mirror and check the price tag.  I do a quick math calculation and think "Oh yes, I must have this."  But what about the plum bag?  Oh this is a dilemma.  

As I'm standing there pondering what to do the angelic sales lady comes over and asks if she can be of assistance.  "Not unless you can help me decide which bag to get *laugh*", I reply.  She smiles and says "Well they're both beautiful so I'm not sure, but let me see how much they are for you, maybe that will help."  She taps away on her calculator and reveals to me a price for *BOTH* of them that falls into the budget I had allotted for ONE!  Oh sweet baby Jesus! I think I might faint!  I ask her to repeat herself just to confirm that I actually heard what she said to me.  She repeats the same number and it was as if the heavens opened and all the divine spirits that reside above erupted into joyful chorus as a smile grew across my face.  My pulse quickened and my palms got sweaty as I turned around and walked over to the check out counter.  She rang them up (I even had some left over to buy a keychain and leather cleaner), wrapped them lovingly in tissue, and slid them into a COACH bag.  I turned around to see ten women smiling behind me and left with my purchases.   If you're a COACH lover like me and also *love* an awesome beyond understanding deal, please visit this outlet in Osage Beach, MO.  

What a rush, now back to the conference. ;)          

Wednesday evening was the Meyer Music Mixer (thanks folks!) and the debut of my sparkle shoes and plum bag.  Both were a smashing success paired with my black skinnies and beautiful stone necklace my hubby gave me.  **Travel note here: they have built new highways "Osage Beach Parkway" and "Passover Road" which made it confusing the first couple of times, especially because the GPS I had wasn't downloaded with these roads, but I figured it out after a wrong turn or two.**  The mixer was a lot of fun and I saw a lot of people that I at least remembered by face if not by name, I wish I was better at that so I didn't feel kind of on the outside edge in a room full of people but I suppose it will come with time and experience.  

Thursday morning was opening day of the conference.  Armed with my badge and schedule jam packed I set out to reap knowledge from those more experienced than I.  It's always such a hard decision to make on what to go to.  So many wonderful workshops overlap and those are on top of concerts by some of the top bands, orchestras, and choirs in the state.  Luckily all of the handouts from the workshops get put up on the internet after the conference so I can download anything that I want and learn even more!  I started the morning listening to the Blue Springs South HS Symphonic Band, wanted to go to the MSHSAA update but the presenter was sick so I perused the exhibits for a while where I picked up the judges copies of the solos my kids are performing as well as another book of solos to add to the collection.  Up next was the first general session for MMEA/MENC where I listened to some great speakers.  After lunch I went to the first workshop I was really looking forward too "Tricks that Click" Proven Solutions to Your Every Day Percussion Needs" with Kevin Lepper from VanderCook College of Music.  Oh I learned some really valuable tricks that have opened up a door for what we can do in the future.  Thank you Professor Lepper!  I stopped by the West Junior HS choir concert then it was time for the Clayton Honors Orchestra.  

*WOW*

This group is comprised of 5th-8th graders who are started with the Suzuki method then invited to audition for this group after the move through book one (if memory serves).  I was breathless the entire time the performed.  Chills ran up and down my spine as they emotionally moved through the music with such grace, intonation, and well rounded tone.  It was as if someone had pressed play on a CD and a professional symphony came sailing through the air.  *Amazing*

I'm going to have to download the SmartMusic presentation on percussion because it overlapped with the Lee's Summit North HS Symphonic Band concert.  After that I stopped by the "Efficient Rehearsal Technique for Orchestra" featuring Elliot Del Borgo (another composer whose work my Orchestra plays)...fantastic.  I was done for the day and headed back to the hotel in hopes a dinner invitation was going to fall my way so I could break out my sassy LBD and sparkle shoes.

Unfortunately fate had other plans and I spent my evening working out (Jillian Michaels' "6week 6pack" level 2 workout is NO joke!), watching TV, & talking to my hubby while I enjoyed a protein bar, apple and some water for dinner.  Oh well...maybe Friday night.

Friday morning brought gorgeous weather and "Ten Easy Ways to Immediately Improve Your Orchestra", again with Elliot Del Borgo.  Great stuff, some so commonsense I wanted to smack myself in the forehead while some others made me say "Oh yeah now I'm gonna try that!"  After Mr. Del Borgo's workshop I went straight back down to the exhibits on a mission to find a new baton or "geek stick" as my hubby would say, snare drum brushes and finger cymbals.  I made a beeline for the Explorers Percussion booth where I picked up the perfect pair of cymbals and brushes for under $40, then stopped at the first table that had Mollard batons and found the perfect one.  Felt good to have a stick back in my hand...now if I just had the opportunity to use it more! 

I wanted to attend the third installment of Mr. Del Borgo's sessions but it overlapped with the Kearney HS Wind Ensemble concert so I'll have to download the handouts later.  I stayed for the Summit Lakes MS String Orchestra concert and again was blown away with these young people's grace, tone, and technique.  I wish my kids sounded like that...guess I'm just gonna have to *make* them! ;)  I enjoyed lunch on Friday with some fine folk from different areas of the state as well as grade levels and had some good conversation.  I then ran upstairs to get a good seat at the MU Bassoon Ensemble...not a chance I was going to miss this concert.  It was beyond awesome.  Really made me miss playing my bassoon.  

After the concert I got caught up in conversation with a lovely woman who is currently going through Breast Cancer.  While we shared a lot of the same experiences, her journey has been not only rougher so far than mine, but also longer and she still has quite a ways to go.  I wish her nothing but strength beyond measure to make it through and any support she needs.  While I was sad to miss the "Teaching your Percussionists with SmartMusic" I wouldn't have missed that conversation for anything.  I'll download the workshop later.


After the bassoon concert was Park Hill HS's Symponic Band concert.  I didn't want to miss Blue Springs HS's Concert Band concert so I have another workshop to download, but all concerts are worth it.  I headed back to the hotel again for some R&R and a hot shower with hopes for dinner at J. Bruner's but wound up eating Taco Bell and watching TV instead.  Maybe I'll get to debut my sassy LBD and sparkle shoes on Valentine's Day, who knows.  


Saturday morning dawned bright and clear and I was aching to go home so I loaded up my car, bid farwell to the Baymont and MMEA, turned the GPS on, the music up and headed home.  I had a scare in Boonville when a black lab that looked *just* like my Lilly-dog darted up and out of the ditch alongside the road and ran straight towards my car, dodging at the last minute as I got hit with a wall of adrenaline and a panicked moment of thinking I was going to hit this dog, to look in my rearview mirror and see it standing in the middle of the road.  This was about the sixth dog I'd seen alongside the highway as I traveled there and back but the first who jumped out like it was going through some dog gang "car dodging" initiation thing or something.  Sheesh!  I hit some traffic irritation on 70 *surprise* and started getting impatient when I turned onto 435N.  Worlds of Fun loomed in the distance as I raced along the highway towards home.  


Home.  What a lovely place to be.  Time away always reminds us of that.  


I turned onto our street and my heart sang more than when I had been at the COACH store and my pulse quickened more than the dog scare.  I came down the drive, passed the door to the joyous ruckus of barks and the relieved and happy smile of my hubby.  I jumped out of the car, got jumped *on* by the dogs :) and ran over to that wonderful face I love so much where I got the big ol' kiss and hug I'd been missing.  Love ya babe.  I'm glad to be home.