I don't know about you, but this past week flew by with a speed that almost takes my breath away. MAP testing at the junior high and all elementaries is in full swing and EOC starts at the high school Monday. Maybe that's what did it. The silence in the hallways, the respectfulness of the kids, the large block of time to get some much needed work done...it was glorious. The MAP continues in the elementaries until the 22nd, then the true mad dash to the end of the year shall begin.
I love this time of year, spring is emerging, it's warming up and the winter doldrums are going away. I also loathe it because it is so jam-packed full of concert stress, it's "testing season". All of us are on edge because we know that these scores determine the answer(s) to a lot of issues such as who's going to get to keep their job, will we maintain our accreditation, how much bashing is going to be heaped on-top of us after the results are released, and the like. It's quite stressful, and I'm not even a core teacher! I just hope that a majority of the kids took it seriously and tried their hardest instead of getting all mad and defensive then giving up.
That's what gets me about this whole standardized test thing. I don't understand how *their* performance determines the security of *my* job. I mean, out there in the corporate world you're rated on *Your* performance of *your* job correct? So, if we're evaluated by our administrators and deemed to be competent in our position and possibly even excel at it how can it be that in reality a group of teenagers who have said "Psht *lip smack* I don't care about this test. It's stupid, it's boring, it doesn't matter", are the ones to determine the fate of the teacher. So interesting.
We had a chat about it in my 8th grade Orchestra class last Friday then Monday, the day before the testing started, it's where the above comment was said. I stopped rehearsal and told them the truth, as I saw it, about the MAP. I told them that not only do their scores have some bearing on their "beyond high school" life, but that their scores translate into money for the district, which there in turn translates into how many teachers get to keep their jobs because if the district doesn't have enough money to pay us all, some of us have to go, and when that happens their class size increases which isn't good for the kids, and the teachers who are left have their work load increase so that they're even *more* over-worked and under-paid which isn't good for anyone.
They were pretty shocked when I put it in those terms. I asked if anyone had ever talked to them about the MAP before in that way. Here's what I got back "No! I'm just told to do my best because it's important", there's the trick...they're never told *why* exactly. Now, I am probably over-simplifying it all but that's basically how those state standardized work in my (and other teacher friends of mine) opinion(s).
Then we talked about the state of the funding for schools and how incredibly scary it is for someone in my position; a "non-core" teacher. We talked about the fact that each and every one of them have a dollar sign on their rear ends. "What do you mean Mz Stout?" I told them about ADA, which for those of you not in the know stands for "Average Daily Attendance", and how every day they are here the school gets money. So every time they decide to skip, or stay home when they're not sick, the school doesn't get their ADA which as the year progresses, this number grows because there is *always* that percentage of kids who don't care about school so they don't come. Therefore, that's why we stress attendance so much, because the district needs that money to keep running, and it's also a part of the accreditation process.
They told me that it wouldn't matter because the school always gets money from the state and government and I had to laugh at that. I told them how a neighboring district is facing a $40million dollar deficit, and that they had already cut some music programs last year, and there would possibly be more on the chopping block this year. I asked them what they thought about only having Math, Science, English, and Social Studies in school. No art, no PE, no band, no orchestra, no shop, no FACS, nothing but the core subjects. A raucous chorus of protests rang through the air.
Them: "I wouldn't go to that school, I'd move"
Me: "Uh-huh, you're 15 how are you going to manage that one on your own, and I highly doubt you could persuade your parents to uproot their lives, pack up the house to try and sell it in this horrible housing market, try to find a decent house to buy but possibly won't qualify for a loan because the economy sucks so instead choose to rent an apartment then they wind up spending *more* money because they're paying rent AND mortgage cause lord knows their house won't sell very fast. Cramming you and your family into a smaller space with all your stuff, just to satisfy the whim of a young teenager? Riiiight. What else ya got?"
Them: "I'd tell them they can't get rid of those programs"
Me: "That's going to be like shouting in the wind. Now, one person may not be able to make a big enough difference, but if you all were to organize and connect with other students across the nation, *maybe* you could make a difference."
Me: "What else ya got? Thoughts? Comments? Concerns?" *Silence* "Do you comprehend now why it's important for you to do the absolute best that you can on the MAP, and not just on the MAP but in school in general? Do you now understand why it's important you're here, respectful, and ready to learn?"
Them: "I do now".
Good.
Where else out there does your job security depend upon the actions of other people, and more specifically teenagers? Yes I realize that it's only one piece of the job security puzzle, but it's an intricate piece to the whole works. Since those conversations in class, and take it all with a grain of salt as those are paraphrased in my brain/from memory, but since those conversations I have noticed a slight upward trend in respectfullness and self-awareness. Will it last? Probably not, they're teenagers and I'm sure my parents can attest to the fact that my attention span/memory wasn't that long when I was their age.
*Shrug* I don't know. I just try to bring the reality of the situation to the kids. They all say they want to be taken seriously, so here ya go...here are some serious issues that you *will* be dealing with when you get older unless the world goes off the deep end in 2012. I try to make them look past their little bubble of lipgloss, teenage hormones, iPod's, texting, sagging pants, horrible language, and skinny jeans so tight I swear the girl's circulation gets cut off to the greater world around them and how they fit into the collective conscious of the greater whole. Maybe I'll make a diff, and maybe I won't. Only time will tell.
*****
On a *completely* different note, I just started up another blog called "Just call me Imelda!; What I wore to school today" because apparently my shoes, ensembles, and hair have been creating quite a stir with not only the kids but the teachers/staff as well. Thursday after school as I was moving bak and forth between the Band and Choir room getting the Drum Line set and ready for rehearsal, I walked past the group of kids who always hang out in the Band room after school, and one of the gals says to me "You're really pretty Mrs. Stout!"...What?! Me?! You're crazy girl! *laugh* It's honestly quite surreal, because I alternate between feeling like the gangly legged, knobby kneed, crooked teethed,
stringy haired awkward teenage girl, to the out of shape, trying to find her way, insecure college girl, all.the.time. Sure, there are plenty of moments of feeling completely comfortable in my own skin and body, but the "ugly duckling" syndrome will always be a constant undercurrent in my brain. In the mean time I figured that this blog would not only be a resource for all the girls out there who want my shoes, "OOooo! Mz Stout! I'mma steal yur shoez!" *laugh* but also a nice chronicle for me of the transformation of my hair. So check it out and be super cool.
7 More Mondays!!!!!!!
8 and a half years ago I signed on the dotted line, received my wad of keys, walked down to the band room, met my kids, and started this chapter of my life entitled "Teacher". I was *elated* because I had a JOB and not only that but it was a job teaching MUSIC! I was a #ProfessionalBandGeek!! *Finally* after 7 years of school and an anxious summer searching and interviewing for positions, I finally landed one in Hickman Mills (where I reside still to this day)
For all that time, I've had the wonderful task of #ShapingYoungMinds, #SpreadingTheJoyOfMusic, #RockingTheDrumLine, giving them the #"Stout"PerspectiveOnLife, on how to be a #Respectful and #Productive person. Aside from all of the things I have to do on a daily basis that I never thought I would (another blog post coming soon), I love what I do without question. Even on the days I'm frustrated beyond belief I still love it and I hope I always do.
With that said, it's a damn scary time to be a teacher. I can't speak for my colleagues, or teacher friends scattered across the US, but I'm fairly sure that aside from the love of our subjects taught, we entered the education profession because it's a #SECURE career...at least it was. I'll admit that I don't follow politics and what's going on with the economy closely because it causes me to get *super* anxious and spin off the deep end into the chaos and that's not good for anybody. There's also my feeling deep inside that something HUGE is going to happen in 2012 that makes this all so very very trivial, but that's another topic for another day.
What I can't ignore anymore is the state of affairs when it comes to public education and the security of my job, my livelihood, my friends jobs and livelihood, but most importantly what this problem is doing to the future of this world. It is beyond scary. We all know that the our public education system has been lagging behind other countries for years. I quite firmly believe this is due to the numerous rules, regulations, policies, procedures, mandates, and laws our *fabulous* government (note the heavy sarcasm) has been throwing on top of us for years. NCLB anyone? AYP? Teaching for the MAP test? Dress Code? ID Badge violations? No electronics? ADA? SMART Goals & Closing the Achievement Gap?
I wish, knowing what I know now, that I could have been a fly on the wall during staff meetings/Professional Development back when I was in high school. Did the teachers then have as much anxiety over the security of their jobs? Did they have to talk budget cuts every.single.year? Did they have to spend as much time "Teaching to the Test" as they did on #DressCodeViolations? Did my band teachers go home after their Wednesday PD thinking to themselves, "Great. I'm trying to get ready for district and state competition and on top of all the rehearsals lost to snow day's, I now have to surrender rehearsal time to "Power Verbs", "MAP terms", and working math, science, and comm arts in somehow." Never mind the fact that math gave me panic attacks, science was like a foreign language to me, and who remembers how to diagram a sentence anyways? Yet I have to do it because it's mandated by the government that if *WE*, the teachers, don't raise the test scores, we're out of a job. Add to that the stress over whether said government is going to cut MORE funds from our already limited resources #aremypaychecksgoingtostartbouncing? and it's no wonder that we're all a little on edge lately.
It's just so incredibly sad. As my awareness spreads out around this crisis I am shocked and dismayed at the ignorance of the government. You powerful men sitting in your ivory towers atop Capitol Hill have lost all touch with reality. Seriously. Would you all stop looking at your fancy suits and shiny shoes for a second and LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE AND CONTINUE TO DO TO THIS NATION. Cutting funding for vital services such as Education, Police, & Social Services? #AREYOUNUTS?!?! I really resent the fact that you are trillions upon trillions in debt because you've given yourselves so many tax cuts, pay raises, and bonuses; borrowed who knows how much from other countries, have sold *our* souls to the oil devil so you could keep your Escalade and Bluetooth Blackberry, and have focused on helping the rest of the world instead of keeping us on track for so long that I don't know if we'll *ever* make it back. I also *REALLY* resent the fact that I have to pay my taxes on time every year yet the possibility that I'll get a refund? #Small The possibility that said refund will be sent on time? #ABSOLUTEZERO I hold onto the thought that on Dec. 21st, 2012 a great chasm will open up under Washington and swallow you all and *poof!* all of our problems will be solved by mother nature...but I digress.
Let's speak frankly for a second. I really really REALLY resent the fact that I might lose my job because of your ineptitude at balancing the budget. I'm a damn good teacher but because you're unable to manage your money #LETaWOMANDOIT! and have been unable to manage your money for such a long time, I might lose my job because I'm not *essential* to meeting your ridiculous test score requirements. Let me clue you in on a secret here...music is #VITAL to a child's full, well rounded education. Watch this if you're confused, he says it best Mike Huckabee: Art and Music essential to education. I'll vote for this guy just based off of this. He's a freaking GENIUS! Why don't all of you on Capitol Hill take a second and think back to your days in school and how music and art played an intricate role in your education. Bill Clinton playing the saxophone anyone? Would you be where you are today without that experience? Music makes you use both sides of your brain and develop greater, deeper, and more permanent connections. Art makes you think spatially and helps with developing greater math skills, yet you are killing this connection because of your selfish decisions.
Yet on the flip-side, even if I get to keep my job, the opportunities the band gets to perform and travel are decreasing because transportation funds are being cut. I swear, pretty soon the teachers are going to be expected to pick the kids up and bring them to school because we can't pay for busses! I'm fixing instruments with masking tape, paper clips, and gorilla glue because we can't afford to pay a repair shop. I purchase the music for my Drum Line not only to get the tax deduction (but what help *that* will be this year is debatable) but for the simple fact that if I didn't, we'd still be playing cadences and features from four years ago and you can't win awards with that.
What's that government? I win awards? Oh yes I do thank you very much. It may not be high score on the MAP test, but we're one of the best Drum Lines/Percussion Sections in our area, at least at the three competitions we can afford to go too, and a number of my kids are high achievers in academics, sports, and the arts. They don't get into trouble for anything other than a minor dress code/ID violation (don't even get me started on how many hours a year I waste on this issue instead of teaching), and are outstanding citizens, anyone? I'm a damn good teacher and #ShameOnYou for putting us in such a precarious situation. You wouldn't be where you are today if it wasn't for the teachers who molded and shaped you and helped you grow. We're trying to do the same thing for this generation but are being forced to give the bare bones to a nation of students who need the full meal deal and then some.
#ComeOn2012.
Cutting the funding to the the point where schools have to cut teachers, therefore increasing class sizes, thereby making the mandate of #DifferentiatedInstruction and one-on-one time with each student increasingly harder to accomplish, resulting in test scores that are less than desirable because this poor teacher is trying to teach 40 kids in a room built for 28 and they're so worn out because they have 7 classes of 40 kids each every.single.day with that much homework to grade each night because God forbid the kids don't get immediate feedback on their progress. Then on top of that this teacher has to *re-teach* material to the kids who aren't gettin' it for whatever reason, while still trying to keep the rest of the class on track with the curriculum and bench marks because if you don't stay with that then your summer gets sucked away by tutoring kids to pass their bench marks, *and*, if you don't stay on track with the curriculum then they aren't prepared for the next step in their math sequencing but sometimes it's really hard to stay with that curriculum because there's the MAP test scores that are so damn important to whether or not this teacher gets to keep their job that they work their self into a tizzy everyday and the end result is a burned out teacher after 2 or 3 years who is taking Zoloft daily to cope with the anxiety and stress but can't always afford the prescription because we're paid diddly. Click here for an interesting "note" on what teachers *should* be paid.
Tired yet? I'm exhausted and I'm not a "Core" teacher!
So come on Washington. #GetYourActTogether. Enough with the excuses, the fighting, the bad decisions. Suck it up and make the hard decisions because in the long run that's what you need to do to turn this around. In the meantime I'll await the news on whether or not I have my beloved job next school year, or if I have to go back to waiting tables, and I'll continue to run myself ragged each day picking up your slack while incorporating math, science, and comm arts into my rehearsals on top of the behavioral, emotional, social, and environmental lessons I am expected to instill, and the dress code I'm supposed to enforce, as well as the life I am trying to make for myself and my husband.
Where's my Zoloft...I need a nap.
We had a chat about it in my 8th grade Orchestra class last Friday then Monday, the day before the testing started, it's where the above comment was said. I stopped rehearsal and told them the truth, as I saw it, about the MAP. I told them that not only do their scores have some bearing on their "beyond high school" life, but that their scores translate into money for the district, which there in turn translates into how many teachers get to keep their jobs because if the district doesn't have enough money to pay us all, some of us have to go, and when that happens their class size increases which isn't good for the kids, and the teachers who are left have their work load increase so that they're even *more* over-worked and under-paid which isn't good for anyone. 
Then we talked about the state of the funding for schools and how incredibly scary it is for someone in my position; a "non-core" teacher. We talked about the fact that each and every one of them have a dollar sign on their rear ends. "What do you mean Mz Stout?" I told them about ADA, which for those of you not in the know stands for "Average Daily Attendance", and how every day they are here the school gets money. So every time they decide to skip, or stay home when they're not sick, the school doesn't get their ADA which as the year progresses, this number grows because there is *always* that percentage of kids who don't care about school so they don't come. Therefore, that's why we stress attendance so much, because the district needs that money to keep running, and it's also a part of the accreditation process. 
They told me that it wouldn't matter because the school always gets money from the state and government and I had to laugh at that. I told them how a neighboring district is facing a $40million dollar deficit, and that they had already cut some music programs last year, and there would possibly be more on the chopping block this year. I asked them what they thought about only having Math, Science, English, and Social Studies in school. No art, no PE, no band, no orchestra, no shop, no FACS, nothing but the core subjects. A raucous chorus of protests rang through the air. 
*Shrug* I don't know. I just try to bring the reality of the situation to the kids. They all say they want to be taken seriously, so here ya go...here are some serious issues that you *will* be dealing with when you get older unless the world goes off the deep end in 2012. I try to make them look past their little bubble of lipgloss, teenage hormones, iPod's, texting, sagging pants, horrible language, and skinny jeans so tight I swear the girl's circulation gets cut off to the greater world around them and how they fit into the collective conscious of the greater whole. Maybe I'll make a diff, and maybe I won't. Only time will tell.
