I wonder if they know...

 I wonder if they know how hard it is for me right now to walk away and let go.  I wonder if they know how hard I struggle everyday to make the right decisions for them, *and* for me & the life I am carrying inside me.  I wonder if they can appreciate the inner dialogue I have with myself on a daily basis that pertains exactly to what our T-shirt says this year.  "Never Let Good Enough, BE Enough."  I wonder if they know I shed a tear every time they go out for parade block and I'm not right there with them calling out cadences and reminding them to step on their "Left! Left! Left!"  I wonder if they fully comprehend how incredibly frustrating it is for me to not be able to teach them the drill and do the counts like I always do.  To explain to them the *big* picture they are making on the field and how it fits in with the rest of the band.  I wonder if they know how truly irritating it is that we don't have a cool space to rehearse in, inside because it's making me wear out faster than I would like.  I wonder if they know how much I hate feeling weak.

I just hope they know that I am trying very hard to find the balance, to be in the present moment with them, to teach them the best I can, and to last as long as I can before my world shifts forever.  I hope they know how much I care...

Carrollton Band Day, 2011

2011 RHS Golden Eagle Drum Line and first ever PIT!

They did it again; they captured 2nd place at Carrollton in the Indoor Drum Line Competition!  We also captured 1st on the field with the Band, 2nd in the parade with the Band, and the Guard captured 2nd in indoor auxillary, and 1st in field auxillary!

They did me proud again, and it was a  successful day all around for all. :)

Lined up and ready to go!

My labor of love

Last April I decided on what the Indoor Drum Line show was going to be.  I had the kids listen to it and then they put in their two cents...the deal was done.  It was to be an adventure and we weren't quite sure how it was going to pan out.  The first step was securing people for a front ensemble, or PIT.  I had a couple of girls jump at the chance when first presented with it, then the brother of one of the boys on the Line.  We picked up two orchestra girls along the way, and put one of the cymbal players on Timpani to finish it out.  

It was time to start rehearsing.

We hit the ground running the first Tuesday in June; meeting three days a week for three hours each day, and haven't looked back since.  We started with the "easy" piece, and I say "easy" because the only easy thing about it is that it's in 4.  The first couple of rehearsals I drove home thinking "What in goodness name am I doing?!"  There were also some days I thought "This isn't gonna work..." *laugh*  How wrong I was.  The kids are working and have worked so hard it's ridiculous and it is coming together splendidly.  One more week of rehearsal to go and then it's show time.  I'm ready...

...Almost.


We have about four and a half hours of rehearsal left, and one hour of warm-up/polish the day of.  It's absolutely enough time; we're going to kick this competitions' rear.  *laugh*  We're going to rock the house and that's what matters.  Yes there are things still that we need to polish and work on, and there's always something that could be better down to the very last minute.  I'm just saying that we're in a very good place and it's nice knowing that we're going to be completely prepared for our competition on Saturday.  It feels good knowing that although we did not get the amount of rehearsal time that is our due, we are prepared none the less.  Good stuff.

Here is a link to a performance of our competition show Friday at Bartle Hall at the Black Expo. There's a few wobbles and bobbles and other things to fix, it was a damn good run through and I'm proud to put it out there.  I hope you enjoy it.  Competition Show 2011

Now, if you'll excuse me I gotta get back to some work for Drum Line for Tuesday's rehearsal.  Lots to do you know...

I'm having an excellent school year so far! Are you?

My 9th school year started about a week after school let out for the summer as we dived right into Drum Line rehearsals to prepare our show for this competition season.  We put in some serious time this summer; 9 hours a week for about six or seven weeks and while I don't want to get too excited or anything because we've had MAJOR obstacles thrown in our way....but...everything seems to be falling into place.  I'm also feeling that way about my school year in general.  Maybe it's because last year I was dealing with the whole cancer bullcheezits, or maybe I'm just hitting a bit of a stride where things are starting to click for me, I don't know.  What I *do* know is that I like it.  


Our show this year, regardless of whether we place or not, is outstanding.  We've pulled off a front ensemble, and are playing three pieces, not just one.  In fact, we had to cut one piece entirely because the show was too long!  *laugh* I'm crazy.  We are pulling two late Tuesday nights in order to get extra time in before the 24th.  It's unfortunate we can't do it after school but there's such a conflict with uneven compromising that we have no other choice.  That's okay though because quite frankly at this point what I'm most stressed about is moving the pit IN and OUT as quickly as possible each time and having one or two full group rehearsals prior to competition.  I think in the grand scheme of things that's a pretty good place to be sitting.  Don't get me wrong; there are *plenty* of things to nit-pick and there will be lots of that going on these next two weeks. 



But before Carrollton we've got some dry runs of being in front of people, not playing our show granted, but parade's and the like.  It's good to get the kids out doing stuff like that before putting them on the field or the basketball court to do their show(s).  Get's their nerves out about performing in public.  We had our first appearance yesterday at KU Band Day.  The kids did great, they really stepped it up a notch or two and gave it their all.  *tear*  I can't wait for next Saturday's KC Royal Parade for them to work those last performance jitters out so then when Carrollton hits they'll be "seasoned pros" on the parade route *laugh*.  It's also a good thing that they'll have two football games for the marching show before Carrollton as well.  That should help boost their confidence come gut-check time. :) 

Mental Note: I need to figure out a public dry run of their indoor Drum Line Show...that's what I really need to do...

So we're off and running.  I told Tim my schedule for this week: Monday home around 7 after Rental Night, Tuesday home around 830 after extra/late Drum Line rehearsal, Wednesday I hope to be the early day (4pm), but we'll see.  Thursday home around 9 after Drum Line and Band rehearsal, Friday home around 10/1030 after first home football game, then Saturday is the KC Royal Parade, ending my week w/work at GC Sunday night.  I wrapped it all up in a smile and said "Love you, see you in October".  *laugh* It's crazy busy but I love it and I love them.  I hope this school year continues to be just as productive, rewarding, frustrating, and enlightening as these first few weeks have been.  

I'm sure these guys will make sure it does.  Golden Eagle Drum Line 2011, KU Band Day