And just like that...

my summer has drawn to a close.  Today marks the last weekday of summer vacation, officially, for me.  Some would say "The last summer before children" *laugh*.  Camp starts on Monday and while I know I'm not going to be very involved in it this year, I am still going to start school hours on Monday, so goodbye summer, it was great, err impossibly HOT, while it lasted.

Thus ushers in my 10th year of teaching.  What?!?!  TEN YEARS?!?!  Inconceviable!  Truly.  I look forward to this school year for ALL of the changes it is about to bring.  Not only is my 10th year, which in and of itself is a milestone, but of course Mr. JP's arrival is imminent, literally on the horizon, and I have a new crop of 5th & 8th grade Orchestra students to break in, get to know in a short amount of time, then mold into musicians and decent human beings when I return from maternity leave.  




Yesterday I braved the sauna that is the HS Band room right now, and had the pleasure of meeting our new 6th and 7th grade Orchestra teacher.  He is a bright and pleasant young man who is full of energy and excitement to get this year going.  We wound up talking for a while and I gave him some advice, pointers, a calendar that has some music events on it (sadly none for his building), and some "sage" wisdom that has come from my 10 years of experience in my current district *laugh*.  What are those tidbits of wisdom you ask?  Allow me to share...




*ANYTIME* you contact a parent, LOG IT into IC, in the PLP contact log, that way you're covering your rear end should a disagreement over teacher communication arise.

*ANYTIME* you send home/hand out anything important, CONTACT THE PARENT, then LOG IT into IC in the PLP.

When you have a concert coming up, send home a reminder ONE MONTH PRIOR TO THE CONCERT, irregardless of the fact that you've already put it in the handbook and that it's also posted on the wall.  Then after sending the reminder home, CONTACT THE PARENT & LOG IT IN IC IN THE PLP.  Then *REMIND* the students every single day leading up to said concert that they do in fact have a concert and have to be there.  What time, what they have to wear, and that "Yes, my dear, you do have to stay the entire time".  Then CONTACT THE PARENT EACH WEEK TO REMIND THEM OF THE CONCERT, LOG IT IN IC IN THE PLP.

**Anyone else noticing a theme here?**

When you're going to give a playing-test that's a *scheduled one*, see above, but only give them a WEEK'S notice.

Written tests, give a WEEK'S NOTICE, then *see above*.

This one I forgot, but it's a good one.  Keep a PAPER RECORD of attendance and behavior, DAILY.  That saved me at least twice last year with a particularly difficult student of mine who was ticked off over the fact they had an F in my class.  "I do the work, I turn it in, why do I have an F?!", then the parent echoed that sentiment "She does the work, she turns it in, why does she have an F?!"  I looked through my paper record and found that her severe lack of attendance, if memory serves it was somewhere in the 50% range is what did her in.  I printed off my attendance for her, attached it to the "official" copy from IC, printed off the PLP log of parent-contact messages concerning her attendance and handed it over to mom.  "Oh my", was all mom could say ;)  Yup.  Cover yourself. 

So my friends, the summer has drawn to a close and the rituals must begin again.  On Sunday evening, I will lug my tired pregnant rear end home from work, take a bath, set up my coffee, and turn the timer on for the first time since May 20th.  Then set my alarm for 4am knowing the return to school has arrived and I *must* find my way to my yoga mat to set the tone for the year, to calm my mind, my body, my spirit, and this little boy jumpin' around in my belly.

                                                                     Good stuff...good.stuff.

And don't forget to revisit this fabulous post for some beginning of the school year inspiration!  I make a difference!  How about you?!

My pregnancy, the heat, and my Drum Line...

Chemo 2010

*Sigh* I'm having to revert back to the statement I used two seasons ago when I was going through cancer/chemo; "I just can't do that right now"...and quite frankly it sucks.  Don't get me wrong, I am over the moon that we #1 got pregnant so quickly and easily, #2 it's been a relatively *easy* pregnancy thus far, and #3 we're almost to the end result of having our little boy enter our lives for realzies, it just sucks big time that I have to take a back seat *AGAIN* to the *one* thing that keeps me going in my job.  My Drum Line.

31weeks

Two Thursdays ago at my baby appointment, I asked the doctor I saw (three rotate through the clinic I go to) what *his* opinion of me and marching band camp was.  This was the last of the three that I hadn't seen yet, so it was nice to be able to ask him and get his opinion.  You see, the first time I asked this question was a while ago when we hadn't been locked into week after week of 100+ degree weather, and I thought maybe it was time to revisit this topic again.  Trust me, I'm no dummy.  I know it's hot, *believe me!* I know it's hot.  I know the ground is saturated with the heat, the astro-turf and track we march on even more so.  I know being outside from 730/8am until 10am at 32weeks pregnant *probably* isn't the smartest idea in the world, but it's a hell of a lot better than being out there from 4-6pm when it's even hotter.  So I had to ask...and I know some of you are thinking "WHY?!  Play the pregnancy card!  Stay inside!  Keep cool!  Bow out, it's okay, you're pregnant"... 

Carrollton 2011

That's just it.  I had to ask because my heart and soul go to these kids for three months at the beginning of the school year.  Drum Line is what keeps me SANE in this insane world known as "being a public school teacher".  It's the ONE thing I can do and do well that people stand up and really take notice of.  It's the one thing that makes me so proud at times I think my heart is going to absolutely *burst* when they perform, whether it be Drum Line or Ensemble, it's a bright spot for me, *and* for them in our busy, hum-drum, not always making sense lives; and now I have to back down...*again*.

I asked the doctor what his thoughts on it were, and he asked me to clarify for him exactly what I would be doing were I not pregnant.  "Outside around 730/8am until about 10am, on the astro-turf marching field in the middle of the kids, whackin' my gock block yelling 'Left! Left! Left!', showing them how to march and schooling a handful of them when they do it wrong.  Then inside for music rehearsal till 12."

31weeks

He listened intently while I told him what *I* expected of myself, but also that *I* knew that I had to listen to my body this time around and really stay hydrated because it's not just about ME anymore.  It's about our little boy who is living inside me right now and I have to protect him.  I know that, I get it.  I just want to make sure I don't do anything to jeopardize his health, or mine, *but* I also don't want to sit on the sidelines if it's not absolutely necessary.  If you know me, then you know that I'm someone who can push myself to the absolute limits and then beyond (last year's Drum Line competition show anyone??), but I do it for THEM.  I do it to show them that they have that person they can rely on to push them to *their* limits, and then scootch them just a little bit further than they thought they could go because *I* knew they could.  This is what I do, it is who I am, it is where I belong.

He took all of my statements into consideration, nodding and "ah-ha-ing" at all the appropriate moments then took a deep breath and gave me my fate.  "Mrs. Stout, I cannot, in good conscience, allow you to be outside with those kids, on your feet, carrying this baby, marching around, and doing what you do, in THIS heat.   It would be *completely* different if you were sitting in front of me at 16weeks pregnant, OR, if we were just sitting around 80/90 degrees out there, but you're 30weeks5days pregnant, and will be 32weeks1day pregnant when this marching band camp hooey starts", yes folks, he used the word "hooey", and I just can't allow you to do that." 

DAMN.  I knew that was what he was going to say, of course I knew it, I'm not stupid, it just sucked to actually hear it come out of his mouth, and then see it in writing when he handed me a note for school.  I then brought up the back to school parade & rally on Aug. 11th, and KU Band Day, which happens to be two weeks prior to JP's due date.  "Uh, no,"  he said, "You can't march either of those." "How about a compromise?" I asked.  "Can I at least get my kids warmed up and in formation for the back to school parade, then I PROMISE, I will get in my car and drive to the high school to await their arrival in the relative comfort of the gym".  "Yes, I suppose that would be okay as long as you promise to NOT march it."  Of course.

KU Band Day 2011

As for KU Band Day?  That's probably going to be a total and complete wash for me, which really makes me want to cry.  I suppose I could have Tim drive me to Lawrence where I could get the kids warmed up at South Park, get my hug from TMS, put them in formation, and then leave them to go watch the parade with my folks & Tim, but can I put my heart through the torture??  I guess, really, at that point we'll know what JP's doing in terms of making his arrival, cause I'll be 38weeks pregnant so I may not be able to physically go anyways.  Ugh.  #BroccoliFudgeCheeseandRiceonaSTICK! *hangs head*  

I guess it's all out of my hands.  I have to let it go and let God.  I have to trust that they will do what I've taught them.  They'll be able to take charge of everything and gear up for their competitions, parades, and field show's without me there.  

All of my teacher friends who have kids have reassured me time after time that "Once your baby boy is here, the furthest thing from your mind is going to be school, let alone your Drum Line."  On one hand I can understand that, but I'm not sure they fully understand.  I spend three-four years with this group molding and shaping them and watching them grow, then help send them out into the world.  They ARE my children.  I may not have birthed them, but I care for them like they are my own.  I listen to their fears, and celebrate their triumphs.  I nurse broken hearts and hand out advice.  I take them home, and buy them food.  I remind them of where they need to be and when.  I make sure they wash their clothes for competition, and I call them to wake them up.  They call me Mom.  How can I forget about them?  Simply put, I can't.  I will do what it is I need to do to protect me and our child growing inside me, but I will NOT forget about them and just walk away like they don't matter.  

Our James Porter LeRoy, 20weeks

So, although I have to use that phrase again "I just can't do that right now", I don't like it.  I'm trying to set them up for success as best I can before the craziness of school starts, and hopefully I will be able to wind them up and let them go when the time comes.  

I hope so...  

I plugged the coffee maker back in today

and set the timer for the first time since school's been out.  *sigh* You know it's right around the corner, starting with band camp.  See, I unplugged the coffee maker on my last day of having to be at school by 7:30 in the morning (Notice, those of you who bash us teachers about getting time off that I didn't say last day of school because *my* last day of school was four days after the official last day)...

I digress,




Anyways, I unplugged it in a symbolic gesture of knowing that I wasn't going to have to wake up to my alarm at 4:30 in the morning for a while.  It was a delicious feeling. :)  All summer long I've enjoyed plugging it in whenever I've gotten up, which for the majority of the summer has been 6 o'clock.  I think I made it to 8am once or twice this summer *laugh*.  So I plugged it back in for realizies tonight, and got it set up for the morning, programmed and everything.  I have three days of Drum Line rehearsal left, then band camp hits on Thursday and I'm off and running back into the daily grind of normal life.  I'm ready for it, of course, but there will always be that part of me that wishes it never had to end.  That I could just do Drum Line rehearsal for a few hours everyday, then spend the weekend at the pool, hang with friends, and be with Tim and the dogs.  *Heaven*

Also a far cry from last summer and I'm *more* than okay with that!  

So as my 9th year of teaching sits on the horizon I take a moment to set my intention(s) for the year.
  

I look forward with expectant hope, a nervous heart,

and joyous anticipation of all the things it has waiting for me and my students.  

I pray the Drum Line accomplishes what they want in the way that they want.  

In fact, I *expect* them to. 

I hope to become a better Orchestra teacher as I have a class of new students to experiment upon.

I hope to conduct the Band but will bite my tongue until it's my turn to shine.

It's not worth the fight because it's not enough time to fly.

As with any journey in life, I expect to have some frustrations and pitfalls along the way, 

but I pray for the grace to maneuver through them with strength and peace.

Lastly, I pray that my vision becomes a reality.  Please let it become a reality; 

it will be so cool when it does.

I hope that all of my teacher friends are as ready for school as I am.  I pray that they have a wonderful year and that admist all the problems we face day to day, that they find the simple joys in teaching children not just what they need to *learn* but more importantly how to be better people and how to reach *their* dreams.  They're our future; it's up to us to help them make the best possible version they can because in the end it helps us all.

I'll see you all at school!

  

Thank You

 I have worked for the Hickman Mills school district for the past 8 years and while there have been some incredibly challenging situations throughout my career, it has always been my passion, my love, and the reason I get up in the morning.  So when the cancer diagnosis came down last May, while I was scared as all get out and worried about myself, I was worried about my students and I knew it was going to be the most challenging situation of them all.  

Thankfully, I had a quick and relatively painless journey.  I had the luxury of finding out at the end of the school year so the tests didn't get in the way much and I was able to face the scariness head on without having to worry about a class or a concert, or rehearsal.  Starting the chemo over the summer afforded me the ability to get used to my "new normal" without the hustle and bustle of the school year on top of it, and it also gave me the chance to get comfortable being bald before baring it in front of my students.  The only thing I had to live full on in front of my students was the mastectomy, but I wasn't overly concerned, even though they were concerned about me :)

After we made it past the really scary weeks, and after I dropped it on my kids, I picked myself up brushed myself off and determined to just live my life as normally as was humanly possible.  That meant getting up each morning, going to school, teaching my kids, going home, washing, rinsing, and repeating.  I didn't think I was doing anything special, and I believe that anyone out there would have done the exact same thing, so it was a wonderful surprise when I was presented with this at our last PD of the year.

     

My principal said some very lovely words, and it made me cry, then I said garbled thanks and awkwardly sat down.  So here is the real thank you to everyone who supported me through this school year.  

Thank you for comforting me with kind words and concerned gestures, 

for telling me to go home and sit down when you could see I was tired (even if I didn't listen).  

Thank you for accepting my bald head and mangled chest as I wandered the halls with my heating pad strapped to myself, counting down the hours till it was time to go home and take that pain pill.

Thank you for understanding when my energy bottomed out 

and I could do no more then just "be".  

I'm blessed to be who I am, working where I do, with such fabulous people.

I thank you from the depths of soul for the love and recognition behind this gift,

it means the world to me.

My students are the best

As my 8th year of teaching draws to a close (5 and a half days; but who's counting right?), I am reminded again exactly just why I teach.  I wrap my students in love, knowledge, discipline, and humor throughout the year hoping against hope that I am able to impress upon them some life lessons, and how to be a better person in this crazy world.  Yes of course I aim to achieve Drum Line glory, but it's more important that I make lasting relationships with these kids and become one of those consistent adult contacts that they can *always* count on.  







This group of students supported me more than I know how to express, this year.  I will never forget the day that I told "The 5" that it was breast cancer.  Even as the words "It's breast cancer" were leaving my lips, I wasn't concerned about me, I was concerned about *them*.  I was concerned about what this was going to do to them, their season, their dreams, their year.  After the bottom dropped out and the moment of silence passed, they looked at me and said "We got this Mz Stout.  We won't let it get you"  *tear*.  

And they didn't.

                                                                                                                                                                            Thursday evening we had out percussion banquet (pictures).  This is the 6th annual percussion banquet, I believe.  This is something that I do just for them.  We go to the Chinese buffet to eat, talk, laugh, reminisce, and I had out awards.  The awards aren't anything serious, they're more like "personality" awards.  "Comic Relief", "Best Smile", "Where's your stuff?", etc...those types of things.  Everyone gets one (hand made by me), as well as some other little gifts.  I make a speech about each kid as I present them with their award, then we finish eating and go home.  Now, I will be perfectly honest and tell you that I have wished each year for my Line to give me a gift in return.  I know that is selfish, but it is also the way I was raised.  Every single year I was in band/choir/theatre, we gave a gift to our directors at the end of the school year/end of play.  I remember chipping in with the cast of "The Wizard of Oz" to buy figurines for Dr. Boyd and Mr. Holly.  Roses for Dr. Boyd at the "Fantacular", gifts for Ms. Bear, Mr. Smith, Mrs. Cox, etc...it was what was done, what was expected.  It was our, the student's, small way of saying "THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR HARD WORK".  If memory serves, I received a gift at the spring concert my first two years, and honestly that was only because I said something to the senior class about getting the head director a gift.  Ever since then, nothing.  Not that I'm complaining, don't get me wrong.  I understand this is a different day and age, and those types of things aren't done much anymore because it's not ingrained in our society anymore to thank those who work hard for you. 

But I digress....

                                                                                                                                             This year I was beyond surprised when "The 5", my boys, presented me with the coolest and most heartfelt gift I have *ever* received from students.  "The Survivor Award".  Not only that, but they put together a picture slideshow for me.  Amazing.  They are so special too me and I can't wait to rock out their senior year and watch it unfold.  So thank you thank you thank you thank you!  You all (the *entire* Line) mean the world to me.  Thank you for the gifts, the support, the love, laughter, and hard work.  I can't wait for summer rehearsals to start and for the new Line to catapult above and beyond the expectations I have set for you.  Love you all.

Dress Code, ID Badges, Behavioral and Emotional Support...things they don't tell you in college about being a public school teacher.

So for years I've toyed with the idea of writing a book about my adventures in teaching so far.  One inspired title is "Tales of a Crazy White Lady; My life as a Public School Teacher in an Urban School District" and the other is the title of this blog "Things they don't tell you in college about being a Public School Teacher".  Even though this idea might never go further than this blog post, I do feel it necessary to lay out some things for those who are currently in school to become a music educator, or otherwise. 

August 2003.  School is two weeks away from starting and I have an interview for an Assistant Band Director position with Hickman Mills High School.  I remember everything about that day.  How hot it was, what I wore, my first drive along what is now my daily commute, how I had to wait in the mall area outside the office for what seemed like forever before being called in by Marilyn.  How I hoped and prayed throughout the entire interview that my wit, charm, and education was enough to land me the position.  3 days later it was mine.

My first day was actually a couple of days after school had already started.  Talk about getting lost from the get-go.  Not only had I missed out completely on the summer band camp, but I was also hired after all of the initial beginning of the year meetings so I missed out on all the pertinant information needed to start the year off right.  My first day was really weird and stressful.  I walked in through the doors that morning with my box full of stuff to encounter a throng of kids so vast, loud, and *taller* than me it was unreal.  I suddenly felt very small and out of place.  I went to the office because I had *no idea* where my room was.  There hadn't been time for a tour of the building and the head director wasn't there that day so I was on my own.  The scene replays in my head somewhat like this: I walk into the office that is a beehive of activity.  Kids are standing at the front desk needing everything from ID badges to schedules.  The secretaries are running around, answering phones, radioing to the administrators on the walkie-talkies and trying to calm down irate parents or students all before the first bell rings.  

What am I doing here.

Marilyn catches sight of me and says "Great! You're here!  Here are your keys, you know the way to your room, here's your schedule, have a great day!" and with a turn she was gone.  

What am I doing here.




I looked at my schedule and it said room 313.  Okay, I thought, I'm an intelligent human being, I can figure this out.  Surely there are signs on the walls that indicate what rooms are which way...thank goodness there were!  I found my way to the band room and met the other Assistant Director.  He was taking care of rehearsal that day and I just basically stood back and watched.  After band he took me on a tour of the district so I could see where the elementary school's I was assigned to were at.  We got back near the end of the day and after a faculty meeting where I sat in stunned silence I gratefully walked out to my car to head home.  Only I'd left the lights on all day and it was dead.  Thankfully a colleague gave me a jump and I was on my way home shortly after thinking the whole way...

What am I doing here. 

It's 8 years later and I still hold the same position, with a few tweaks.  Obviously I survived and have morphed into a pretty damn good teacher, if I do say so myself, but there have been numerous lessons along the way.  For those of you currently in college working towards a Bachelor's in Music Education or Bachelor's in Education, please allow me to give you a few pointers that you're not going to get in those MEMT or ED classes.

1) As a teacher you are not just there to teach your subject; you're there to teach yours *plus* everyone else's as well.  You're the band teacher and had panic attacks in school when doing math?  Too bad!  You have to incorporate math into your lesson plans and rehearsals.  This is still something I struggle to do.  I'm pretty good at it during marching season because we have drill that is written on graph paper and it's easy to talk parallel lines, right angles, perpendicular, etc and hit on "FOIL", and there are some signs between the two that are similar (< and >) but that's about the limit of my expertise but I do what I can.  Mixing in Comm Arts is easier because I can always have the kids write a concert critique, there's bellwork, vocab words all the time *and* most of those are in Italian.  

Science?  I'll tackle that one next year


2) You have to go to meetings...a LOT.  It's called #ProfessionalDevelopment breathe it, live it, own it, *love it* cause you'll be doing a lot of it.  If you're a core subject teacher, these PD's are useful and informational.  You're presented with tools that you can use immediately in your classroom that will produce results.  For the band teacher, especially at the high school level, who is trying desperately to get their group ready for contest it can be hard to work these tools into rehearsal.  Usually the criteria is met through the use of bell work but even then I don't feel like it's enough.  Oh well, there's always next week's PD to get new ideas to try.


3) You're going to be more to these students than just their teacher, you're going to become that constant adult presence in their life, their safe zone, the one they can trust.  Many of them you are going to invest a lot of time in, many are going to invest a lot of time in you.  Treasure that relationship because *that* is how you educate them and turn them into the productive and responsible citizens we *ALL* want them to become.


4) You've got to adopt your own style of teaching, that's for sure, but if I can give one piece of advice.  Always have them think you're *just* on this side of crazy.  I know my kids think I'm nuts, and they're right...I am.  You have to be a little crazy to become a teacher because otherwise you'll go insane!


5) Know that even the most incredibly, frustratingly, irritatingly, annoyingly, seemingly disrespectful student needs you.  They're the ones that need you to stop them in the hall with a firm word and ask them if they've gone and done lost their mind!  They need your redirection just as much as they need your softer side; the squeeze on the shoulder, the kind word, the "You did a good job"...those are the ones who need the full meal deal and then some.  We're the ones who can give it to them.


6) Know who *really* runs the school.  No it's not the students, and no offense to any administrators, but anyone worth their salt knows that the secretaries and custodial staff are the ones who keep the building running.  These people are the salt of the earth and angels in disguise.  They are your best friends and you should treat them accordingly.  They put up with a lot more than us teachers will ever know and they still manage to get donuts ordered for our staff meetings (at least they did before funding got cut...again).


7) You're going to have a lot of "extra duty" opportunities.  Some of them you can choose to do, some you have no choice.  Some you will get paid for, others you will not.  We all must do our share in order for the kids to be able to have their games and dances, career fairs and graduation.  Just make sure to still leave time for yourself.  Some of my teacher friends I worry about because it seems like they are *always* at school.  Granted I was there a lot more before cancer and now it's made me put some things into perspective, but I still have my 3 long days a week and usually 5 during marching season.  Suck it up and do what you have to do but also learn how to say "I just can't do that right now, you're going to have to find somebody else".  


8) You should have a mentor your first year and if something happens where you slip through the cracks, like what happened with me, please demand to be paired with a veteran teacher.  This is vital to our success in your first few years.  I felt like I was out there treading water on my own for a couple of years and even though I feel as if I've hit my stride this year I still feel like I'm playing catch up.
  
9) If you haven't already found time to substitute, DO IT NOW.  I spent a semester substituting and not only did it open my eyes to a lot of behavioral issues out there, but it helped me better prepare for when I had to do it for real.  So get your name out there and sub a couple of times, you'll be glad you did.

10) You are going to spend more time addressing dress code and ID badge violations then you know what to do with.  You are also going to fight the sagging, short skirts, legging as pants, untucked no belt-wearing issue all.the.time.  Prepare to give up portions of you plan time to deal with these issues when you're on hall duty.  It's just the way it is.


11) Your acronym vocabulary is going to *explode* your first couple of years.  AYP, QAR, MAP, NCLB, PBTE, SMART Goals, DOK, GLE, the list goes on and on.  Listen up in your staff meetings to find out what these are all about and ask your mentor or trusted veteran teacher what you're supposed to do with them.  


12) REMEMBER: YOU are in charge.  Not the students.  YOU run the show.  YOUR success as a teacher and their success as a student is more important than whether or not they like you all the time.  I've seen it happen before with first year teachers, especially those who are close in age with the seniors (i.e. 21 and 18).  They think they can just be the student's friend and everything will go just fine.  Not so much.  You can be their friend in a fashion but you are also the teacher, disciplinarian, adult in charge, and mentor.  If you just try to be their friend they're going to steam roll over you like they do their other friends (especially if they're a dominant personality), so rather define the line, let them know you're just about half crazy and proceed through your day.  Things will go a lot better for you.

13) Hall Duty, Bus Duty, Lunch Duty, Restroom Duty, Hall-sweep duty.  5 things in a teachers day that are all incredibly important and incredibly annoying.  Just like PD, live this, breathe this, own this, love this. 


There are so many other things that pop up daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, semesterly, and yearly that I *still* think to myself "There's another thing I wish I would've been told in college", that it's impossible to list them all.  I'm not trying to scare you, brave soul, cause Lord knows we need you in our schools to take the torch from those who have gone before you and continue to carry on, inspire, and educate.  I just want to bring into the light some things that they don't tell you about in all of your method's classes as you're standing there in front of your friends who you just partied with the night before and who now have to act like teenagers in a classroom (reality? I think not).  I want you to know so you're not caught off guard when you finally sign on your dotted line, get your wad of keys and find the way to *your* room. 

Just remember to take deep breaths, go to your happy place and remember why you entered this profession in the first place and you'll find the strength to keep going.  


Good Luck!

Scary times to be a teacher these days.

8 and a half years ago I signed on the dotted line, received my wad of keys, walked down to the band room, met my kids, and started this chapter of my life entitled "Teacher".  I was *elated* because I had a JOB and not only that but it was a job teaching MUSIC!  I was a #ProfessionalBandGeek!!  *Finally* after 7 years of school and an anxious summer searching and interviewing for positions, I finally landed one in Hickman Mills (where I reside still to this day)

For all that time, I've had the wonderful task of #ShapingYoungMinds, #SpreadingTheJoyOfMusic, #RockingTheDrumLine, giving them the #"Stout"PerspectiveOnLife, on how to be a #Respectful and #Productive person.  Aside from all of the things I have to do on a daily basis that I never thought I would (another blog post coming soon), I love what I do without question.  Even on the days I'm frustrated beyond belief I still love it and I hope I always do.

With that said, it's a damn scary time to be a teacher.  I can't speak for my colleagues, or teacher friends scattered across the US, but I'm fairly sure that aside from the love of our subjects taught, we entered the education profession because it's a #SECURE career...at least it was.  I'll admit that I don't follow politics and what's going on with the economy closely because it causes me to get *super* anxious and spin off the deep end into the chaos and that's not good for anybody.  There's also my feeling deep inside that something HUGE is going to happen in 2012 that makes this all so very very trivial, but that's another topic for another day.  

What I can't ignore anymore is the state of affairs when it comes to public education and the security of my job, my livelihood, my friends jobs and livelihood, but most importantly what this problem is doing to the future of this world.  It is beyond scary.  We all know that the our public education system has been lagging behind other countries for years.  I quite firmly believe this is due to the numerous rules, regulations, policies, procedures, mandates, and laws our *fabulous* government (note the heavy sarcasm) has been throwing on top of us for years.  NCLB anyone?  AYP?  Teaching for the MAP test?  Dress Code?  ID Badge violations?  No electronics?  ADA?  SMART Goals & Closing the Achievement Gap?


I wish, knowing what I know now, that I could have been a fly on the wall during staff meetings/Professional Development back when I was in high school.  Did the teachers then have as much anxiety over the security of their jobs?  Did they have to talk budget cuts every.single.year?  Did they have to spend as much time "Teaching to the Test" as they did on #DressCodeViolations?  Did my band teachers go home after their Wednesday PD thinking to themselves, "Great.  I'm trying to get ready for district and state competition and on top of all the rehearsals lost to snow day's, I now have to surrender rehearsal time to "Power Verbs", "MAP terms", and working math, science, and comm arts in somehow."  Never mind the fact that math gave me panic attacks, science was like a foreign language to me, and who remembers how to diagram a sentence anyways?  Yet I have to do it because it's mandated by the government that if *WE*, the teachers, don't raise the test scores, we're out of a job.  Add to that the stress over whether said government is going to cut MORE funds from our already limited resources #aremypaychecksgoingtostartbouncing? and it's no wonder that we're all a little on edge lately.

It's just so incredibly sad.  As my awareness spreads out around this crisis I am shocked and dismayed at the ignorance of the government.  You powerful men sitting in your ivory towers atop Capitol Hill have lost all touch with reality.  Seriously.  Would you all stop looking at your fancy suits and shiny shoes for a second and LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE AND CONTINUE TO DO TO THIS NATION.  Cutting funding for vital services such as Education, Police, & Social Services?  #AREYOUNUTS?!?!  I really resent the fact that you are trillions upon trillions in debt because you've given yourselves so many tax cuts, pay raises, and bonuses; borrowed who knows how much from other countries, have sold *our* souls to the oil devil so you could keep your Escalade and Bluetooth Blackberry, and have focused on helping the rest of the world instead of keeping us on track for so long that I don't know if we'll *ever* make it back.  I also *REALLY* resent the fact that I have to pay my taxes on time every year yet the possibility that I'll get a refund? #Small  The possibility that said refund will be sent on time? #ABSOLUTEZERO  I hold onto the thought that on Dec. 21st, 2012 a great chasm will open up under Washington and swallow you all and *poof!* all of our problems will be solved by mother nature...but I digress. 

Let's speak frankly for a second.  I really really REALLY resent the fact that I might lose my job because of your ineptitude at balancing the budget.  I'm a damn good teacher but because you're unable to manage your money #LETaWOMANDOIT!  and have been unable to manage your money for such a long time, I might lose my job because I'm not *essential* to meeting your ridiculous test score requirements.  Let me clue you in on a secret here...music is #VITAL to a child's full, well rounded education.  Watch this if you're confused, he says it best Mike Huckabee: Art and Music essential to education.  I'll vote for this guy just based off of this.  He's a freaking GENIUS!  Why don't all of you on Capitol Hill take a second and think back to your days in school and how music and art played an intricate role in your education.  Bill Clinton playing the saxophone anyone?  Would you be where you are today without that experience?  Music makes you use both sides of your brain and develop greater, deeper, and more permanent connections.  Art makes you think spatially and helps with developing greater math skills, yet you are killing this connection because of your selfish decisions.

Yet on the flip-side, even if I get to keep my job, the opportunities the band gets to perform and travel are decreasing because transportation funds are being cut.  I swear, pretty soon the teachers are going to be expected to pick the kids up and bring them to school because we can't pay for busses!  I'm fixing instruments with masking tape, paper clips, and gorilla glue because we can't afford to pay a repair shop.  I purchase the music for my Drum Line not only to get the tax deduction (but what help *that* will be this year is debatable) but for the simple fact that if I didn't, we'd still be playing cadences and features from four years ago and you can't win awards with that.  



What's that government?  I win awards?  Oh yes I do thank you very much.  It may not be high score on the MAP test, but we're one of the best Drum Lines/Percussion Sections in our area, at least at the three competitions we can afford to go too, and a number of my kids are high achievers in academics, sports, and the arts.  They don't get into trouble for anything other than a minor dress code/ID violation (don't even get me started on how many hours a year I waste on this issue instead of teaching), and are outstanding citizens, anyone?  I'm a damn good teacher and #ShameOnYou for putting us in such a precarious situation.  You wouldn't be where you are today if it wasn't for the teachers who molded and shaped you and helped you grow.  We're trying to do the same thing for this generation but are being forced to give the bare bones to a nation of students who need the full meal deal and then some.
 

 You want higher test scores?  You want the U.S. education system to be a giant contender with the world again?  You want to ensure the success of this nation for years beyond your, or my, life?  Then stop all the #Bull$hit! and the carp you're feeding the public and do what you know is right. #FIXIT.  Don't try; DO.  Stop arguing with one another over who is right or wrong in the political world.  There's no effing time for that anymore.  How can you expect to leave this enormous problem you've created to a generation who is not "proficient" in math?  How can you expect a cure for cancer when there's not enough money to provide the science classes with basic necessities?  How can you expect them to be able to read at a level equal to their grade when there isn't enough money to #BUYBOOKS.  And STOP telling us to get on the technology bandwagon when we don't have the funds to provide that technology for our students, and the technology they could use to access it (cellphones) are not allowed in class?  It's ridiculous and incredibly disheartening.  Are you enjoying your ride to hell in a hand-basket?  Cause that's where you're going and unfortunately we're all along for the ride.


#ComeOn2012.


Cutting the funding to the the point where schools have to cut teachers, therefore increasing class sizes, thereby making the mandate of #DifferentiatedInstruction and one-on-one time with each student increasingly harder to accomplish, resulting in test scores that are less than desirable because this poor teacher is trying to teach 40 kids in a room built for 28 and they're so worn out because they have 7 classes of 40 kids each every.single.day with that much homework to grade each night because God forbid the kids don't get immediate feedback on their progress.  Then on top of that this teacher has to *re-teach* material to the kids who aren't gettin' it for whatever reason, while still trying to keep the rest of the class on track with the curriculum and bench marks because if you don't stay with that then your summer gets sucked away by tutoring kids to pass their bench marks, *and*, if you don't stay on track with the curriculum then they aren't prepared for the next step in their math sequencing but sometimes it's really hard to stay with that curriculum because there's the MAP test scores that are so damn important to whether or not this teacher gets to keep their job that they work their self into a tizzy everyday and the end result is a burned out teacher after 2 or 3 years who is taking Zoloft daily to cope with the anxiety and stress but can't always afford the prescription because we're paid diddly.  Click here for an interesting "note" on what teachers *should* be paid.

Tired yet?  I'm exhausted and I'm not a "Core" teacher!

So come on Washington.  #GetYourActTogether.  Enough with the excuses, the fighting, the bad decisions.  Suck it up and make the hard decisions because in the long run that's what you need to do to turn this around.  In the meantime I'll await the news on whether or not I have my beloved job next school year, or if I have to go back to waiting tables, and I'll continue to run myself ragged each day picking up your slack while incorporating math, science, and comm arts into my rehearsals on top of the behavioral, emotional, social, and environmental lessons I am expected to instill, and the dress code I'm supposed to enforce, as well as the life I am trying to make for myself and my husband.  

Where's my Zoloft...I need a nap.

MMEA and my spiritual COACH experience

Oh my it felt good to get home yesterday.  I felt such a sense of relief when I drove down our drive and stepped through our door yesterday afternoon; Buck and Lilly barking joyously at my return as they followed me up to that dear face I love so much smiling sheepishly at me because I could see the relief in *his* face that I was home.  *laugh*  It's good to feel needed again.

I left for Osage Beach right after school on Tuesday afternoon, MMEA bound.  I was super excited to get going because this was my professional conference.  My chance to immerse myself in all things Band *and* Orchestra related for three days; concerts, workshops, schmoozing, partying, you name it.  I will admit that I was also excited to escape the regular routine for a few days and sleep in a bed without dogs laying on my feet for a few nights *giggle*. 

 

I arrived at my hotel (thank you Baymont Inn) and got myself settled in for the evening.  I'm pretty familiar with the area so I toodled on down to the Hy-Vee to rustle up some dinner from their big salad bar and grabbed a bottle of wine labled "Little Black Dress", which I thought was appropriate to kick off my conference since I'd brought a rockin' LBD to wear with my sparkle shoes at the fancy dinner. :)  I hunkered in for the evening, chatted with a friend, watched TV, and fell into a peaceful slumber to assure I was well rested for the day ahead.






Wednesday I sat through the judges training session and it was a good time.  I met the man who composed two of the pieces my 8th grade Orchestra is performing, Kirt Mosier.  Nice guy and writes great music so buy it! *wink wink nudge nudge*  Still not sure whether or not I'll be able to judge, but it was good experience to sit through the training.  

Then came my spiritual experience!  The COACH outlet!  Eek!  You have to understand something.  I *fully* admit that I have a shopping obsession, especially shoes and bags...*BUT*...I have been waiting for this shopping trip an entire year and I knew the bag was going to be 70% off because they give you a 20% off coupon when you walk in the door and there's a HUGE wall of 50% bags.  (That's where I found my pink leather one last year.)  I've been saving my pennies towards my goal of having cash to purchase a new COACH bag.  It'd been an entire year since I'd purchased one and I was looking forward too it.  I got lost with the GPS (again new highways not programmed in) so I relied on my instincts and memory of the area to guide me to the lovely bags awaiting my touch, my caress, the chance to join my collection.

I opened the door and that sweet smell of COACH leather and fabric wafted over me and enveloped me in it's embrace.  The sales lady came gliding towards me with a beautiful smile as she placed the 20% off coupon in my hand and waved her hand over the wonders placed before me as joy sang from my soul.  This year there was not only the large wall of 50% off clearance, but tables of discounted bags, wallets, scarfs, and keychains.  Oh sweet spirits where to begin!  I started with the clearance and saw the sparkle bag in person.  Aside from the disco ball hanging from the strap, it wasn't as wonderful as I had imagined.  So I kept going.  Green leather, brown fabric, pink C's, multi stripes, navy sparkle with a black leather edge and then I saw it.  Peeking behind a lavender leather bag that reminded me of my grandmother (that's not necessarily a bad thing, it just wasn't my style) was a dark plum beauty.  I reached in and pulled it out to the light revealing a dark plum patent leather bag with the classic COACH "C" stitched into it.  Opening it up revealed beautiful lavender lining with a large silver coin-purse in the middle.  Oh I was in love, but we must not be to hasty.  I put it on my shoulder and checked out my reflection in the mirror.  Pretty nice, but there is more to be seen. 

I kept the plum bag on my shoulder and walked my way around the store.  Weaving my way between women who were similarly entranced I stumbled upon a white version of the plum bag with an emerald green lining...hmm...no this will get dirty too fast, keep moving.  I check out the wallets but I already have one and it's a pain to transfer wallets often, so I look over the sunglasses.  $130 for a pair of sunglasses that surely will break during marching season if my dogs don't get them first?!  No thanks.  I wander back towards the clearance to give it another once over before I commit to the plum bag when I see a gold and tan beauty that somehow escaped my attention the first time around.  I pick it up and realize that I have that same style bag in denim "C" fabric and brown leather; it's one of my favorites.  I slide it on my shoulder and it feels like slipping on an old friend.  I look in the mirror and check the price tag.  I do a quick math calculation and think "Oh yes, I must have this."  But what about the plum bag?  Oh this is a dilemma.  

As I'm standing there pondering what to do the angelic sales lady comes over and asks if she can be of assistance.  "Not unless you can help me decide which bag to get *laugh*", I reply.  She smiles and says "Well they're both beautiful so I'm not sure, but let me see how much they are for you, maybe that will help."  She taps away on her calculator and reveals to me a price for *BOTH* of them that falls into the budget I had allotted for ONE!  Oh sweet baby Jesus! I think I might faint!  I ask her to repeat herself just to confirm that I actually heard what she said to me.  She repeats the same number and it was as if the heavens opened and all the divine spirits that reside above erupted into joyful chorus as a smile grew across my face.  My pulse quickened and my palms got sweaty as I turned around and walked over to the check out counter.  She rang them up (I even had some left over to buy a keychain and leather cleaner), wrapped them lovingly in tissue, and slid them into a COACH bag.  I turned around to see ten women smiling behind me and left with my purchases.   If you're a COACH lover like me and also *love* an awesome beyond understanding deal, please visit this outlet in Osage Beach, MO.  

What a rush, now back to the conference. ;)          

Wednesday evening was the Meyer Music Mixer (thanks folks!) and the debut of my sparkle shoes and plum bag.  Both were a smashing success paired with my black skinnies and beautiful stone necklace my hubby gave me.  **Travel note here: they have built new highways "Osage Beach Parkway" and "Passover Road" which made it confusing the first couple of times, especially because the GPS I had wasn't downloaded with these roads, but I figured it out after a wrong turn or two.**  The mixer was a lot of fun and I saw a lot of people that I at least remembered by face if not by name, I wish I was better at that so I didn't feel kind of on the outside edge in a room full of people but I suppose it will come with time and experience.  

Thursday morning was opening day of the conference.  Armed with my badge and schedule jam packed I set out to reap knowledge from those more experienced than I.  It's always such a hard decision to make on what to go to.  So many wonderful workshops overlap and those are on top of concerts by some of the top bands, orchestras, and choirs in the state.  Luckily all of the handouts from the workshops get put up on the internet after the conference so I can download anything that I want and learn even more!  I started the morning listening to the Blue Springs South HS Symphonic Band, wanted to go to the MSHSAA update but the presenter was sick so I perused the exhibits for a while where I picked up the judges copies of the solos my kids are performing as well as another book of solos to add to the collection.  Up next was the first general session for MMEA/MENC where I listened to some great speakers.  After lunch I went to the first workshop I was really looking forward too "Tricks that Click" Proven Solutions to Your Every Day Percussion Needs" with Kevin Lepper from VanderCook College of Music.  Oh I learned some really valuable tricks that have opened up a door for what we can do in the future.  Thank you Professor Lepper!  I stopped by the West Junior HS choir concert then it was time for the Clayton Honors Orchestra.  

*WOW*

This group is comprised of 5th-8th graders who are started with the Suzuki method then invited to audition for this group after the move through book one (if memory serves).  I was breathless the entire time the performed.  Chills ran up and down my spine as they emotionally moved through the music with such grace, intonation, and well rounded tone.  It was as if someone had pressed play on a CD and a professional symphony came sailing through the air.  *Amazing*

I'm going to have to download the SmartMusic presentation on percussion because it overlapped with the Lee's Summit North HS Symphonic Band concert.  After that I stopped by the "Efficient Rehearsal Technique for Orchestra" featuring Elliot Del Borgo (another composer whose work my Orchestra plays)...fantastic.  I was done for the day and headed back to the hotel in hopes a dinner invitation was going to fall my way so I could break out my sassy LBD and sparkle shoes.

Unfortunately fate had other plans and I spent my evening working out (Jillian Michaels' "6week 6pack" level 2 workout is NO joke!), watching TV, & talking to my hubby while I enjoyed a protein bar, apple and some water for dinner.  Oh well...maybe Friday night.

Friday morning brought gorgeous weather and "Ten Easy Ways to Immediately Improve Your Orchestra", again with Elliot Del Borgo.  Great stuff, some so commonsense I wanted to smack myself in the forehead while some others made me say "Oh yeah now I'm gonna try that!"  After Mr. Del Borgo's workshop I went straight back down to the exhibits on a mission to find a new baton or "geek stick" as my hubby would say, snare drum brushes and finger cymbals.  I made a beeline for the Explorers Percussion booth where I picked up the perfect pair of cymbals and brushes for under $40, then stopped at the first table that had Mollard batons and found the perfect one.  Felt good to have a stick back in my hand...now if I just had the opportunity to use it more! 

I wanted to attend the third installment of Mr. Del Borgo's sessions but it overlapped with the Kearney HS Wind Ensemble concert so I'll have to download the handouts later.  I stayed for the Summit Lakes MS String Orchestra concert and again was blown away with these young people's grace, tone, and technique.  I wish my kids sounded like that...guess I'm just gonna have to *make* them! ;)  I enjoyed lunch on Friday with some fine folk from different areas of the state as well as grade levels and had some good conversation.  I then ran upstairs to get a good seat at the MU Bassoon Ensemble...not a chance I was going to miss this concert.  It was beyond awesome.  Really made me miss playing my bassoon.  

After the concert I got caught up in conversation with a lovely woman who is currently going through Breast Cancer.  While we shared a lot of the same experiences, her journey has been not only rougher so far than mine, but also longer and she still has quite a ways to go.  I wish her nothing but strength beyond measure to make it through and any support she needs.  While I was sad to miss the "Teaching your Percussionists with SmartMusic" I wouldn't have missed that conversation for anything.  I'll download the workshop later.


After the bassoon concert was Park Hill HS's Symponic Band concert.  I didn't want to miss Blue Springs HS's Concert Band concert so I have another workshop to download, but all concerts are worth it.  I headed back to the hotel again for some R&R and a hot shower with hopes for dinner at J. Bruner's but wound up eating Taco Bell and watching TV instead.  Maybe I'll get to debut my sassy LBD and sparkle shoes on Valentine's Day, who knows.  


Saturday morning dawned bright and clear and I was aching to go home so I loaded up my car, bid farwell to the Baymont and MMEA, turned the GPS on, the music up and headed home.  I had a scare in Boonville when a black lab that looked *just* like my Lilly-dog darted up and out of the ditch alongside the road and ran straight towards my car, dodging at the last minute as I got hit with a wall of adrenaline and a panicked moment of thinking I was going to hit this dog, to look in my rearview mirror and see it standing in the middle of the road.  This was about the sixth dog I'd seen alongside the highway as I traveled there and back but the first who jumped out like it was going through some dog gang "car dodging" initiation thing or something.  Sheesh!  I hit some traffic irritation on 70 *surprise* and started getting impatient when I turned onto 435N.  Worlds of Fun loomed in the distance as I raced along the highway towards home.  


Home.  What a lovely place to be.  Time away always reminds us of that.  


I turned onto our street and my heart sang more than when I had been at the COACH store and my pulse quickened more than the dog scare.  I came down the drive, passed the door to the joyous ruckus of barks and the relieved and happy smile of my hubby.  I jumped out of the car, got jumped *on* by the dogs :) and ran over to that wonderful face I love so much where I got the big ol' kiss and hug I'd been missing.  Love ya babe.  I'm glad to be home.