First time in 8 years

that I'm not going to the Carrollton marching competition tomorrow. If you read my previous post then you know that this last Chemo was not an easy one for me. Instead of being able to ride it out in relative peace and quiet, the universe had a completely different idea and boy has it taken it's toll (and more rain is expected tomorrow night...joy). I don't think I have ever been that overwhelmed, nauseous, exhausted, scared, irritated, and dumb-founded. Ever. Because of all of that and the damn physical toll it has taken on me, and because it's supposed to rain *more* tomorrow night, I have decided to not go to our marching competition tomorrow. It makes me incredibly sad. because my situation is a double-edged sword. Either I go to Carrollton tomorrow and return late in the evening to find "Lake Stout" in our garage/utility room and thus after having expended energy at the competition I would then have to expend MORE energy cleaning up the mess which would then prolong the nausea and fatigue into Monday most likely, *OR* I stay here to be able to rest tomorrow morning then suck the water up as it's coming IN instead of later when it's a lake, but I'll miss out on everyone's performances (Drum Line, Band, and Guard). *sigh* I can't win. All I can do is wish them luck, hope that all of our hard work is going to pay off, and take care of myself. So...this is dedicated to all of my kids. GOOD LUCK TOMORROW! Mama Stout will be sending good vibes all day long!

You inspire me. In all that you do, in all that you are.
On your good days and your bad, you inspire me.
Go out there tomorrow with your heads held high, your chests puffed out with pride, a swagger to your step, and the knowledge in your hearts that you CAN and WILL succeed.
I love each and every one of you even though we may not cross paths each day.
I keep watch with a careful eye, noting your mood changes and your facial expressions.
I know when you're happy, and when you're mad. I know when you're troubled and when you're sad.
I may not always get the chance to tell you, but you inspire me.
Put your hard work to the test tomorrow and show those other kids out there who's boss.
Don't leave anything but your best out there; you deserve nothing less.
I may not be there in person tomorrow, but I'll be there in spirit and in prayer.
Know that my love hovers above and my support surrounds you with care.

"Mama Stout"