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Sunday, October 11, 2015

"More apple juice pwease"

My heart broke into a million pieces last night, repeatedly.  My husband is firm on cutting out excessive amounts of liquid after the bedtime sippy.  While I agree, I also feel deep down inside that even if we do cut it out (which is forcing it right now), the overnight peeing won't stop until his bladder is stronger.  It's also a part of his bedtime routine, security, and comfort to have that one last half sippy of apple juice snuggled next to us, tickling his face with his blanket right before he drops off.

But.

Last night I had to stand firm otherwise it would have cause resentment between Tim and I.  Although I am a smidge resentful that he initiated it and couldn't handle the ensuing heartbreaking melt down.  He wanted to be stern and use his boss voice and threaten the crying with time out or "do you want me to put you in your bed and leave you there"...like that's going to do anything but make JP feel like his bed is a punishment zone.  Forget that.

So I asked him to leave the room.

He tried to argue with me and I said IN MY TEACHER VOICE, "this is the EXACT situation we had when I cut him off of milk completely except that was truly for his health, and this is just for your convenience.  Now I'm the one who thinks you're the ahole parent.  Please leave."

I sobbed with JP while he cried and pleaded with me. "Mommy I just want some apple juice, pwease. Pwease mommy." I held him and rubbed his back and whispered "I know you want more baby. I can't give it to you.  I am so sorry. I love you so much. We can do this. We can be brave. This is all part of growing up.  It will be okay." As he sobbed and sobbed.

He finally fell asleep after 15 minutes or so only to half wake 30 minutes later crying out for apple juice.  I laid there frozen with my heart breaking trying to keep my resolve to not get him some, snuggle him up close and tight and apologize over and over.  Thankfully he fell asleep after a few tosses and turns.

My poor doodle.  Being a mom or dad is hard.  So is being three.

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